A Thousand Years
by dudewriteshungergames
Summary: Modern A/U. Injured Soldier Peeta Mellark Returns 'Home' From War Missing A Leg And A Part Of Himself He Fears He Will Never Get Back. Maybe He Could Find Himself If Home Wasn't Comparable To The Battlefield He Just Left. Maybe A Girl From His Past Can Help Put The Pieces Back Together, Or Maybe She Will Just Destroy Him Completely. Violence, sexual situations, Mature Content.
1. Chapter 1

I don't own anything except an embarrassing amount of free time. Characters Belong to Suzanne Collins, I just like to play puppet master. Sorry if it sucks, I tried my best.

Legs. Of all the welcome home surprises my idiot brothers could have done they decided a strip club called legs was appropriate. It wouldn't be so bad if I did in fact have legs, which I do not. I have 1 leg and 1 piece of plastic coated titanium.

"Dude!" My brother Pacers voice snaps me back to reality from my self-loathing. "How are you in a room full of hot half naked chicks and still all mopey, shit I'd think you'd be happy your home at least."

"Pacer... You brought me to fucking place called legs..." I seethe. "Just how happy can you expect a one legged man to be here?"

Pacer visibly pales, "Shit man, I'm sorry I just wanted to show you a good time. It was either here or Crays Cabaret, last time I went in there I swear I saw grandma on stage." Pacer shivers from the memory and the mental image makes me want to vomit. "Don't know about you Peeta my man but I don't order from the seniors menu." I muster up a grin for him as the waitress begins distributing drinks among our rather large group.

"I am happy to be home Pacer, and I appreciate the warm welcome, I guess it's just gonna take some time getting use to this life again." Pacer gives me a sad smile, "You'll get there Peeta" He says as the waitress sets down his drink, up until now I hadn't paid much attention to her.

"Peeta?" The woman says "Peeta Mellark?" At this I look up into the same beautiful silver eyes I've been trying to forget for almost two years now.

"Katniss." I breathe out, "H-H-How are you?" I manage stuttering like the lovesick puppy I am. I disgust myself.

She grins "I'm alright. Welcome home, I heard you were coming back! Is this your welcome home party?" At this I'm shocked I've known this girl my entire life and have never heard her speak this much to me willingly, well, except for that day. I get excited for a minute thinking maybe she has noticed me; maybe she was upset when I left and is genuinely happy I'm back. Then I think about graduation the day I was finally going to tell her I love her, and how happy she looked when he kissed her and swung her around. Nope this isn't about me, this is her job, to be friendly and make tips.

"Uhm yeah actually. I didn't expect to see you here." I tell her, she responds with a sad smile and "Yeah, you and me both."

"Well thanks for the drink." I say effectively dismissing her. For a moment I think I see something flash in her eyes, rejection? Regret? Disappointment? I can't be sure because it's gone in a heartbeat replaced by the fake carefree smile as she moves on to the other patrons.

By the time she makes her rounds and back to check on our group I've had a good 30 minutes of hating myself even more for being so short with her. After all it isn't fair to be a dick to her for loving Gale, I know better than anyone you can't help who you love. So when she brings my drink this time I take the initiative with small talk asking after her family and what's new around town. This time when she walks away I don't feel like such a jerk. That is until I feel the weight of a body over mine.

A pretty woman with short brown hair and an intense brown state looks seductively at me with a very mischievous grin. "Hey there blue eyes, enjoying the show?" She enquires moving her scantily clad body skillfully over mine. I consider denying the lap dance but I'm sure that'll just get Pacer all sentimental again. So instead I decide to engage this woman in conversation, I honestly have no interest in getting a boner in the middle of this club.

"Oh yeah nothing better than getting together with guys to go get sexually frustrated." I tell her, my voice dripping with sarcasm.

She grins "What's wrong with a little frustration" She purrs slowly grinding against me as she drawls out the last word. That is about all I can handle, I need to get this woman off me before I get really uncomfortable.

"What's your name?" I inquire. I guess this isn't a common question as she stalls her movements momentarily. "It's Joey, how 'bout you hot stuff"

"Peeta" I tell her, "Like the bread?" she asks. Always the same fucking response. "No, but close enough" I respond. "Listen Joey, How would you like to make an easy $200" She stills completely and quirks an eyebrow. "Wow bread boy I didn't take you for that type, especially since I can't even get a twitch from you, no offence but I thought you were gay. I mean, I'm smoking hot and topless." She says with an easy grin. "But I'm afraid I'm not a whore, I just move like one." She adds, continuing her dance. "You are hot I'll give you that and I'm not gay, but I wasn't asking for that." I tell her then discretely point toward my eldest brother Phoenix, "See that guy? You take this show over there and I'll pay you $200" She nods and replies "Cash first." She gets off me and I retrieve my wallet and fork over the money.

I didn't have much to do with my paychecks in Iraq so it's accumulated to quite a nice sum of money. Now that I'm home I'll still get some benefits from the military for my leg, but alot less than my pay was so it will come in handy having a large nest egg. I need to find my own place; very soon, I cannot handle living with my mother again. I make that my mission for the following day. I begin listing all the furnishings I'll need in my head when Katniss breaks me from my thoughts with another beer.

"So are you home for good now?" She asks tentatively and I nod "Where are you staying?" She ventures.

"With my folks till I find something else, I'm going to start looking tomorrow." She bites her lip as though she's trying to prevent the words from coming out.

"My neighbor is looking for a roommate, I could give him your number if you want."  
Wow living next door to Katniss Everdeen...tempting. Living next door to Katniss and Gale...not so much. My face must've betrayed my disinterest of listening to them moan over each other every night, she must have thought it was the idea of a roommate that caused my discomfort because she smiled and said, "I know roommates usually suck, but Finnick isn't too bad, he keeps the place clean and the parties to the weekends."

"Finnick Odair?" I ask and she nods

"You were in varsity football with him in 10th, right?" she asks. I grin, Finnick is a wild man, I went to more parties courtesy of Finn my sophomore year than the rest of my high school years combined. We're talking outrageous parties, as long as Finnick kept up with school his parents lavished him in whatever he wanted, it was easier than to actually set aside time from their posh lives. Having a large stature got me on varsity quick, but I think what really did it were Phoenix and Pacers' reputations as football gods that really cemented my spot.

"Yeah I was, where is the house? I'd kinda like to stick close to Dads Cafe; I'm going back to work there after I get settled."

"It's about a 15 minute walk, if you have a car it's only about 5." She responds while clearing the empty bottles from our table.

"Doesn't sound too terrible, Finnick was always...entertaining. Why not, can't hurt to look right?" I jot my number down on a cocktail napkin and hand to her, our fingers brush and she stills, our fingers still touching then says in cocky voice, "You know you never made good on that dinner invitation."  
She must see my confusion, she blushes slightly continuing, "Uhm, in 8th grade you asked me to dinner but I couldn't date."

I remember now, she had told me her fathers rule 'can't date till you graduate' so I told her that I would take her out to the best dinner ever once we graduated to make up for all the dates she missed. She had given me the most radiant smile I'd ever seen, kissed me on the cheek and ran off. But of course fucking Gale Hawthorne got her first.  
"Oh yeah, I do owe you the worlds best date don't I?"  
She grins and nods, "I believe you do Mr. Mellark." Is she hitting on me?  
"How would Hawthorne feel about me taking you out?" With that loaded question her easy smile drops and I can see her jaw tense as she grinds her teeth.  
"It's none of his fucking business." She seethes through her teeth, almost like the thought of him makes her want to spontaneously combust."If you'll excuse me I've got a few tables to check on. I'll have Finn call you." And with that she walks away.

I decide I have done enough damage for the evening and stayed long enough to use jet lag as an excuse. I roll up a hundred dollar bill just loose enough so I can stick it in the neck of my empty bottle without it falling all the way through and make my way home.


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you for the Reviews, Favorites & Follows, I sincerely appreciate it as I was so very nervous being a first time poster! Chapters to follow won't be this quick, the first 2 have basically been done for the past year I was just too unsure of myself to post them. I still don't own anything, just having fun!

I wake to the most horrific sound of my mothers shrill voice the following morning, "Peeta! Wake up, you won't be sleeping all fucking day here boy! Get your ass up and go help your Father open the Cafe." I groan and roll over adjusting to the dull ache of my un-leg, picking up my phone I see it's 5:45. Well, at least she let me sleep in, I've gotten up at 4:30 almost every morning for as long as I can remember, so an extra hour is unbelievable.

I shower, dress and make my way to the Cafe with only minimal additional shit from mother. Just before I stepped out I saw her take her nice little handful of pills and wander down the hall towards her room, a nice little assortment of pain killers, anti-depressants, anti-anxiety, muscle relaxers and a whole slew of others. She has more doctors than an entire generation of hypochondriacs, they give her whatever she wants as long as she pays the premium.

I make it to the Cafe by 6:30 and the morning rush is in full swing, the smell of rich coffees and pastries filling my nose and bringing a million memories in a mere moment. I see my father has hired a woman about my age with piercing green eyes and flowing dark hair. I make my way to the employees only area, she must notice my 'Mellarks Cafe' shirt as she sends me a shy smile with no hassle as I pass her.

My Father, Uncle Chaff and another man I don't recognize are already hard at work creating artful pastries, bagels, croissants and other breakfast items when I walk in. Dad and Chaff look up and greet me as I enter while the other man continues on as if I don't exist. I grab an apron as my Dad heads over to wash his hands, "Come here son I'd like you to meet Pollux, he's been giving us a hand around here since you've been, well, since you've been away." He finishes with a sad smile, it's no secret he didn't want me to join the military, but it's not like he provided a very functional environment for me to want to stay in either. Granted he never abused us, he never did anything to protect us either. I walk over to Pollux and nod my head in greeting (shaking hands while working with food and your hands isn't very conductive after all) "Hey man, nice to meet you I'm Peeta" I say, but instead of returning the sentiment he turns to my father who slowly proceeds to start signing. I can pick out the letters of my name having taken a semester of American sign language in high school but that's about all I can get out of it. He in turn smiles and signs back to Dad, who then translates to me; "He says welcome home Peeta, and thank you for your service." I cringe inwardly but try to paste on a grateful smile, it's the one thing I'm sure I'll never get used to, being thanked for giving my leg up. I mean it's not like I was able to do much good in the short time I was abroad, I didn't save any lives, only took them. More than I want to count, I honestly just want to forget.

After that awkward exchange dad puts me to work frosting cupcakes. I'm grateful, it's simple work that my hands will never forget. I pop in my ear-buds and set my iPhone to one of my random playlists, soon all the cupcakes are frosted and ready for the afternoon rush. With that done there isn't much else for me to do, the cafe has always pretty much been a 4 man operation, 1 out front and 3 in the back, it used to be perfect when Mother still handled the customers, Dad and 2 of us boys back here, one of us with a day off. When Phoenix graduated and left Pacer and I were left with no days off. Then when Pacer graduated and did the same he hired Uncle Chaff. I suppose when I left he had to hire Pollux, I'm not sure when Mother gave up and he hired the pretty girl out front, but it's been a long time coming. Mother was always very short with the customers, I'm sure if it weren't for Dads skill with pastries we never would have had a repeat customer.

With nothing else to do and the morning rush gone I decide to acquaint myself with the pretty brunette out front, she's a shy woman who has just turned 21 she says. Her name is Annie and Dad hired her about a year ago when she was forced to drop out of college after her parents were killed in front of her during a home invasion, leaving her the soul provider for her 6 year old sister. She doesn't say anything else after that, seemingly lost in her own little world, I don't mind though it's kinda nice to have someone just as fucked up as me to just be quiet with. So thats what we do the next hour, just sit quietly lost in our own thoughts. Mine of mutilated bodies of adults and children alike, hers of her dead parents, maybe we wouldn't have been voted cutest couple in high school but we might just be able to lose ourselves for awhile in each other. Obviously now isn't the time to be entertaining these thoughts, but hey I'm single and lonely, what can I say.

When Dad comes out and sees us he asks if I'd be alright handling the customers the rest of the day, I'm not to keen on the idea but I agree anyway, anything is better than spending the rest of the day with Mother dearest. He sends Annie home and I'm left to deal with all the well wishers and welcome homers, I spend the rest of the afternoon blocking my thoughts as much as possible serving the customers their lunch orders. As I'm cleaning up the dine in area my phone rings, I don't recognize the number on the screen but answer anyway hoping for a wrong number or salesman I can release some verbal rage upon. It's not that I'm a violent or mean person, but something did snap in me overseas, I find my thoughts more consumed by anger than I'd like. Maybe it's a genetic thing that popped up late in life, Mothers anger DNA that is no longer suppressible, maybe it was the war, who knows.

Unfortunately it turns out to be Finnick, not that I don't like Finnick I just don't really feel like dealing with his effervescent, constantly jovial attitude right now. I'd much rather scream at a telemarketer. After the standard "welcome home" "thanks for writing asshole" standard crap he invites me to come check out the room for rent tomorrow evening, he says it's fully furnished so I won't have to spend much to move in, he'll even waive the deposit. I agree to stop by after work tomorrow, Finnick may not be the ideal roommate for me at this point but neither is my Mother.

I help close the bakery up and prep for the morning, it's only 7:30 when I get home so I do sit-ups for an hour before I take my prazosin and jump in the shower. Tomorrow is sure to be an interesting day I may as well get some sleep. Before I can make it from the bathroom to my bedroom Mother is on my ass. Shocking.

"I cooked a delicious meal for you boy aren't you at least going to pretend your not an ungrateful piece of shit and eat it?" She says through clenched teeth. Sometimes I wonder why a woman so vile didn't just abort me. I reply with a quiet "Sure" if for no other reason than to avoid conflict and get to bed before my meds make me faint or worse hallucinate. A delicious meal it is not, maybe I am ungrateful but exploded pizza roll mush isn't quite my idea of appetizing, but I've eaten worse so I choke it down before getting up to clear my dishes. Unfortunately Mother has other ideas sticking her foot out to trip me by my un-leg. I go down hard my mush plate and water glass shattering in my hands under the weight of my torso, excellent. "What the fuck is wrong with you shit for brains!" Mother screeches, "Haven't you learned how to walk on that fancy fucking leg yet? I at least thought the military would teach you how to walk right, Jeez I've bred nothing but a pack of fucking idiots. You make me fucking sick." she spits out before stalking out of the room. I look at my father while I pick up the pieces of glass and he is just staring into his plate as if it holds the answers. Coward, although I suppose I am no better. Believe it or not my Father used to be my hero, I looked up to him like any other son looks to his Father, but as I got older and he just sat there, he sort of fell off the pedestal I'd held him on for so long. Sometimes I wonder if he was always such a push over or if protecting his kids is just something he gave up on.

After I pick the shards of glass from my palms and change my filth shirt I finally succumb to a very deep dark sleep, thankfully with no nightmares. Tonight anyway.


	3. Chapter 3

I still don't own anything! Wow, you guys I can't even believe 1 person Favorited/followed/reviewed but there's like 20! I honestly thought I'd get 1 review telling me it was garbage and that would be it. You've motivated me to write another chapter tonight so without further ado I give you chapter 3! Oh and btw I'm un-beta'd so all mistakes are all me!

The next morning arrives bearing the shrill noise of my alarm, thankfully, its half as loud as Mothers mouth. I manage to get out of the house before the beast awakens for her next dose, that also means Dad must still be asleep as well. I decide to go for a short jog before work, as I can't very well get into the cafe before dad unlocks it. I take my time so as not to injure my un-leg, it still isn't 100% but the doctors tell me if I laze about I'll only do more damage than good.

By the time I make it back home dads truck is no longer in the drive way next to my used BMW I purchased shortly after being released from the hospital. I forgo taking another shower just so I don't run the risk of running into Mother and make my way to the cafe.

Annie isn't there yet when I arrive, maybe that's normal though as I'm actually here before open today. Dad and Uncle Chaff are are already preparing the mornings goods in the back so I head to the sink to wash up and help. As I'm drying my hands Dad turns to me and says "Son would you mind manning the front today? Annie won't be in today, she had some personal business to take care of." "Sure Dad." I tell him although the last thing I want to do is spend the day smiling at the curious stares and "welcome homes". Maybe it won't be so bad, the majority of them have been coming here since I was in diapers and are sure to know the hell I went through and have enough respect for me to just get their food and leave me the fuck alone.

But of course I'm wrong. Seems that is the story of my life. The first customer of the day is the ever bubbly Effie Trinket, and just this one customer alone is enough to make me want to rip out all my hair. "Oh Peeta it's so wonderful to see you back, I missed seeing your smiling face around here!" and "I heard about your leg you poor, poor dear. What a tragedy to befall such a handsome young man, but I'm just positive you'll find some lovely young lady that can see past that. I mean you are a war hero after all and all the ladies love a war hero!" She continues for what seems like ages but must only be a few minutes before I can politely dismiss her to fill orders for the ever growing line behind her. Most of the responses to my homecoming are much more subdued thankfully, I still wish they'd all shut the hell up and just let me forget for a few moments. This is the exact reason I decided to buy a car to drive home instead of flying and dealing with the intercom "Thank you and welcome homes", which is followed by a 3 hour flight of curious stares and pats on the shoulder as the other passengers walk by.

By the time lunch rolls around my mood is foul at best and maintaining a fake smile is becoming almost painful. I guess if you've never been to war you just can't understand the concept of just wanting to forget so I suppose I shouldn't despise these people as much as I do right now. They are ignorant to the ways of war, it should make me happy really, but honestly I just feel jealous of their blissful ignorance. The moment 6:00 rolls around I flip the sign to close and call to my Dad I've got some business to attend to and leave before he can argue. I'd love nothing more than to just go home and collapse in bed, but a text from Finnick asking if I'm still coming by kills that idea. I could always tell him something came up I guess, but then I'm stuck going home to spend the rest of the evening with the she-devil. I shoot him a text back asking for the address and stick it in my phone for the gps as soon as he sends it back.

Katniss was right, it's only about 5 minutes away which is pretty convenient, the neighborhood isn't as nice as where my parents live, but it's not the ghetto either thankfully. It's a street full of older single story brick homes that seem fairly well tended. A few of the driveways sport broken down vehicles with the hoods propped open or up on jack stands, the grass at each house is different lengths suggesting there is a lack of a homeowners association in the area, but it's easy to see most of these houses are well loved even if they aren't mansions. Finnicks house is actually pretty nice and looks like it been updated, which isn't that surprising when you consider the wealth that is the Odair family. It is no mansion like his parents home but it's obvious some of the Odair cash has trickled it's way down to Finn.

He answers the door and embraces me in a bone crushing hug "How the hell are you Mellark! I thought your scrawny ass would never come back but here you are in the flesh! Come on in man, you're gonna love this place, it's the biggest in the neighborhood. There are 4 bedrooms 3.5 baths, and I just had an Olympic sized swimming pool put in last summer." He starts walking off pointing out rooms as we go "Here's the kitchen, I had it renovated when I moved in so it should be up to your culinary master standards." he says with a wink. And he's right, it's one of the nicest kitchens I've seen with black granite counter tops and stainless steel appliances, I give a low whistle before telling him "Wow Finn, this is fucking incredible, I haven't even seen the room yet and I'm already pretty sure I can't afford this." He responds with a sympathetic grin and replies "Don't worry about it Peeta, I don't really need the money, I got all funds I could possibly need for a graduation present, the place is already paid for, I just want some roommates that aren't going to drive me up a damn wall. Place is too big for one person, we'll figure out what'll work for your budget, generally Jo and I just split the utilities anyhow." "Who's Jo?" I inquire. "A friend of mine from my short stint at university, a real riot, you'll get along great, It's been just the 2 of us for a year or so now." He finishes showing me the rest of the house; living room, dining room, laundry room, backyard, and what could potentially be my room. It has it's own attached bathroom, that's a definite plus, it's fully furnished just like he said "I even bought a new mattress for the bed when I heard you were interested Peet!" he tells me excitedly with a wag of his eyebrows and I can't help the smile that creeps onto my face. It may be the first genuine smile I've given in at least a year. We discuss the budget a little more before I agree, I know there's no way I'm going to find anything this good for the minimal price he's offering me. I couldn't even get a studio apartment in the seam for this price honestly. He tells me if I can wait till the weekend he can help me move my few belongings, I really don't need the help as the room has most everything I need other than my personal effects, but I agree to the weekend anyway. It's Tuesday so it'll give me a few days to tell the folks, deal with whatever crap that brings and get all my shit together.

I feel pretty good by the time I leave, maybe living with Finn will be a good thing, I could defiantly benefit from the fact that he treats me the same as he always did. Not like a hero, not like pond scum, just like a friend. Yes, I can definitely get used to being treated like a normal human, by a normal friend again. And maybe this Jo guy won't be so bad, who knows, if Finn likes him there's got to be something worth while about him, I don't remember any Jo's from school so maybe he won't know me at all and he'll treat me normal too. For the first time in a long time I feel optimistic, maybe it's not so much of a stretch to say happy even.


	4. Chapter 4

Welcome, Welcome, Welcome! I still own nothing! Thanks for your responses, if you've read, reviewed, favorited or followed I just want you to know I did a totally awesome happy dance for you!

Sorry I should've done warnings in the other chapters, I'm going to start now though.

VERY GRAPHIC VIOLENCE IN THIS CHAPTER NOT SUITABLE FOR SOME READERS PLEASE BE A RESPONSIBLE READER

GRAPHIC DEPICTIONS OF CHILD ABUSE NOT SUITABLE FOR SOME READERS READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION

As I'm unlocking my car a familiar face appears in the in the reflection of my car window. Her tread is silent, had I not seen her before she spoke she probably would've scared the shit out of me. But if the military taught me anything it was attention to detail and how not to get snuck up on and killed.

"Leaving without saying goodbye again are you Mellark?" She says in the voice that's held me captive for the majority of my knowing life.

I turn to face Katniss, she's dressed in what I assume is her work attire, a white button up dress short with a red bow-tie and shorts so tight and short they could almost pass for panties. I wonder how I didn't notice this the other night. I guess I was just so caught up in my own self loathing I missed it.

"Well you didn't seem to happy after our last conversation so I figured I'd just get out of your hair and let you finish the evening in peace." I reply, to which she looks genuinely confused for a moment before understanding dawns on her features.

"Oh, no, not that..well yeah I guess that time too, but I meant when you left for boot camp. It was like I saw you at graduation then a month later everyone said you we're already gone." she tells me, her face blushing slightly, though I can't pinpoint why.

I'm not really sure how to respond, the old Peeta would have probably apologized profusely and begged for a chance to make it up to her, but new Peeta wants to tell her if she hadn't been so far up Hawthornes ass it might not have taken her a month to notice I was gone. I try for middle ground with "Um, sorry, I didn't know you'd even notice I was gone. I mean its not like we were friends or really even knew each other for that matter." Something akin to hurt flashes across her face but she recovers quickly with "Yeah I guess your right. So how'd you like the house? Pretty nice right?"

"It's great." I tell her "Much nicer than what I was expecting for the price actually, I'm moving in this weekend."

"Awesome, so I guess we're going to be neighbors then, I live right over there." She says pointing to a house across the street and 2 down. "It's not quite as nice as Finns', but it's home, I like it."

"Cool, it'll be nice to have a few familiar faces in the neighborhood." I tell her, I fiddle with my keys for a moment trying to think of something to say to fill the silence that seems far longer than the few seconds it's been in reality. Thankfully she spares me "Well, I was just about to go to work so I guess I'll see you later." "Yeah, later." I respond turning to get in my car, just as I'm about to shut my door I hear her shout "Oh and Peeta, I'm still holding you to that date!" I give her a small smile and a wave before shutting my door and heading home.

It kinda pisses me off that she is so adamant about this damn date happening now but she conveniently forgot about when tall, dark and asshole showed up. I'd consider telling her to fuck off if it wasn't for the fact that I'm still completely smitten with her. A fact that kinda pisses me off, you'd think after a Mother like mine, a handful of loose women and a war I'd be able to get over a stupid fucking crush. Maybe it's just that this crush is the only thing left in my life that's still innocent and untainted, I never had the opportunity to screw it up like I have everything else. I drive 5mph under the speed limit the entire way home, which is unlike me me in the fact that I generally have a lead foot. The idea of Mother waiting up just to torture me some more is not at all appealing. At least she's mellowed out some since I got bigger than her.

When I was little she would beat the shit out of me and leave me locked in the basement all weekend, always careful to land her blows away from my face so the school wouldn't get suspicious. The Mellarks home life has got to be one of the best kept secrets in the country. When I was younger the idea of telling was terrifying, all I could think was 'what if she finds out it was me?' As I got older I just tried to avoid her as much as possible, sports and girls helped with that. The summer was the worst, sometimes she'd leave all 3 of us boys locked in the basement for an entire week, after the first time we got to where we would stash food and water down there in our "out time" just so we didn't starve. Pheonix told me once that she hadn't always been so cruel, that there was a time when she was a normal human being, but I can't remember any such time so I tried not to dwell on what could have been.

The only good thing that came from it, is the solidarity I have with my brothers, we tried so hard to protect each other, we just never could. Although I imagine there is a much more effective method to bringing unity among brothers. I promised myself years ago if I ever had children I would never let anyone hurt them, ever. Including their mother. I spent the weekend at Pheonixs' for his 21st birthday, he lives about 3 hours away, we ended up getting wasted and he cried for over 2 hours repeating "I should've just taken you Peet, you and Pacer both, I should've just taken you, I'm so sorry!" He couldn't have of course, and I knew that, he got out on a scholarship and the dorms wouldn't have allowed 2 younger siblings hanging around the dorm all day long. I never held it against him, I never even considered the thought actually.

I pull into the driveway much sooner than I would like, never seemed like a great time to me, but I can't avoid the place forever I suppose. It's just before 8 when I walk through the door and immediately wished I hadn't. Maybe I can just creep back out and go to a bar until I pass out, alas I know it's too late when I hear the shit storm directed at me "And where the fuck have you been? You think you can just walk out of the cafe whenever you damn well please and leave your Father to do the closing alone?" My Father quietly says "Maureen it's fine I had it under control." Which of course just pisses her off more, "Shut the fuck up you coward, I'm talking to your lazy prick of a son!" I take a deep breath and square my shoulders before replying as calmly as I can "I went to look at a room for rent, I'm moving in this weekend." Apparently that isn't what she was expecting to hear as her face goes blank for a moment, I almost think that she's just going to leave it at that, but of course not. "What, our house isn't good enough for you anymore hot shot? Too ungrateful to appreciate the free rent, free housekeeping, free meals?" I scoff before attempting to walk past her to the stairs, as I get just past her she grabs my arm jerking it just right so I either have to turn and face her or fall due to my un-leg. As soon as I am facing her she reaches over and back hands me with her costume jewelry encrusted hand, then before I even realize what I'm doing I have her by the throat my face so close to hers I can smell the whiskey on her breath. Through my grinding teeth I manage "Don't. Ever. Fucking. Touch. Me." I can see the fear in her face, can feel her pulse under my hand, it's at that point I seem to get a hold of myself and let go. I stalk up the stairs and lock myself in the bathroom, I don't know what just happened, I'm not that person, I'm not violent. But it was me, I did that, I almost strangled my own Mother, the thought sends me to the toilet vomiting violently until it's just gagging.

As I shower I decide I need to take up the offer of therapy from the doctors at the VA hospital. That is if she doesn't have me arrested before I get the chance. I fall asleep without taking my prazosin and end up locked in nightmares full of dark basements and my brothers sobs.


	5. Chapter 5

Thank you for the Reviews, Favorites & Follows, I sincerely appreciate it! I still don't own anything, just having fun! This chapter is quite as graphic as it's predecessors but it does have graphic language and implied child abuse. Please Be A Responsible Reader.

The next morning arrives without fanfare, no screeching Mother or police sirens, just my alarm clock and the sweat covering my body. I jump in the shower and attempt to wash the prior nights events from my brain to no avail. Surprisingly when I make it down stairs my Father it sitting in the living room, he appears to be waiting for me. This can't be good. When he hears my approach he stands and meets my eye before dropping his gaze to the floor before he says "Son, I think we should talk about what happened." So much for washing away the event, as if it worked anyway. This whole situation floors me, don't get me wrong, I know what I did was fucked up, really I do. I don't believe in a man putting his hands on a woman, ever. I also don't believe in beating the hell out of your kids, but that must be where he and I differ. Of all the horrible things he watched us go through the fact that he has the audacity to stand up for her but never for his own sons makes me hate him with a passion.

"Peeta, I know you and you're brothers had a rough life, but y-" He starts but no matter how hard I try I just can't bite my tongue long enough to let him finish.  
"Hard life?" I seethe, "Seriously Dad? That's all you have to say about your sons being abused their entire lives? I rescued prisoners that were treated better than we were!"  
"Peeta you have to understand-" I interrupt again like the ungrateful urchin I apparently am, "No, YOU need to understand, a hard life is a farmer during the dust bowl, a hard life is someone working for minimum wage to provide for an entire family. Locking your kids up like fucking wild animals, starving them and beating them is TORTURE!" My voice climbing with each breath.  
"I-I know Peeta, God I know! I'm sorry, I don't know what else to say, I'm just so sorry son. I don't know how I let things get so bad. I'm just so sorry." He says through his clearly visible tears.  
"I'm sure you are, but it doesn't help now does it?" I tell him dejectedly as I walk past him to the door. I wonder if Finnick would mind if I just move my shit in today. Its too early to call him now, and I don't feel like being stuck with just Dad at the cafe so I decide to drive the 15 minutes out to the lake on the edge of town. The lake is calm and smooth, I don't get out of the car, my leg aches so there's no point in getting out to further aggravate it when I'll be on it all day. I sit there for about 30 minutes before making my way to the cafe, the short trip out here was worth it, I feel immensely calmer by the time I make it to the cafe.

Annie is out front today so I assume I'll be working in the back today, so imagine my surprise when Dad asks me to help Annie out front today. I don't argue, I imagine he just doesn't want me around, I can't very well blame him, I don't want to spend the day in uncomfortable silence with him either. Annie is preparing the various coffees and teas when I get back out front, she gives me a small smile before saying "Thank you for covering for me yesterday Peeta, my sister wasn't feeling well so I had to take her to the doctor." I give her a small smile and tell her "No problem Annie, I hope she feels better soon." She nods and responds with a quiet "me too." We fall into silence stocking the display cases with the fresh pastries, filling the napkin containers in the dining area (something I should have done last night) and making sure we're ready to go before flipping the sign to open. It isn't 30 minutes later before the cafe is packed with the morning rushers.

As usual Effie Trinket is one of the very first customers, "Oh Peeta it's a big, big, big day dear! My cousins best friends daughter called me last night, apparently she recently got out of a very, very bad relationship and she is just dying to meet you! I told her all about what a sweet, sweet boy you are and of course how handsome!"

God, if there's one thing I don't want to deal with it's a blind date, so I tell her "Effie, I'm not really interested right now, I sort of just wanted to lay low for awhile and enjoy life in the slow lane for a few months."

This of course doesn't work for Effies' agenda, "Nonsense Peeta!, Everything is already taken care of! All you have to do is show up at Senecas Seafood on Capitol Street and 7 sharp on Saturday! I've taken care of the reservations and prepaid for the meal! You'll have a glorious time Peeta! You wouldn't want to stand that poor girl up after everything she's been through would you?" They say you learn something new everyday, today has hardly begun and I've already learned Effie Trinket is not above guilting you into her bidding, "Of course not Effie, I'll be there." I reply flatly. She leaves soon after promising I'll just love the girl (whose name I'm not even privy to).

Just as the morning rush wanes another familiar face appears, Mr. Everdeen and Prim stroll happily into the building. Mr. Everdeen has always been a very intimidating man (at least to me he was, but maybe it's because he can sense my attraction to his eldest daughter). Prim comes to the counter excitedly chattering away with Annie while Mr. Everdeen catches my eye and I swear it feels like he can read all my thoughts and secrets with a single look, but he just greets me with "Nice to see you back kid."

The shrill ring of the phone pulls Annie from her animated conversation with Prim, Annie answers the phone with the standard "Thanks for calling Mellarks how can I-" at which point she's cut off by the impatient customer and I start taking the Everdeens orders. Prim chats animatedly with me about everything thats gone on since I left, I try my hardest to follow the conversation but I have no idea who the hell Rue, or Rory are so it makes it a tad difficult. It also doesn't help that it seems Annie is having a hard time with whoever has called the only words she can get in edgewise are "yes ma'am? I'm sorry but-...well I don't think I can-...but ma'am he's-...I'm just the order clerk I can't-...No please...yes ma'am." I send her a confused glance when she hangs up while I retrieve the pastries for Prim and Mr. Everdeen, who also quieted down with the worried tone of Annies voice. She just shakes her head solemnly with a sad smile before starting fresh coffee and tea." She doesn't speak much the rest of the day and doesn't really seem to snap out of her melancholy mood. I figure it must've been her sisters doctor perhaps needing her to take more time off work so I don't press her for more information.

The rest of the day wears on, Annie and I close up everything out front, normally I would offer to help Dad with the kitchen clean up but I'm still not in the mood to deal with him. So when Annie asks if I'd like to grab dinner with her I agree. We end up at Sae's Diner, about a block away from the cafe, Annie seems even quieter than normal and incredibly on edge. I try to start up a few conversations, but they fall flat in under a minute, I try a few lame jokes to try and brighten her mood but it doesn't work. Annie just picks at her meal, not really eating so much as pushing the food around her plate, I presume she is attempting to save some for her sister so I tell her "Go ahead and eat Annie, I'll order something to go you can take for your sister." At this she gives me a very sad smile before bursting into tears, which shocks me into silence for at least a minute. I gather my bearings and put my hand on her shoulder before quietly murmuring "Shh Annie, it's alright, whatever it is, it'll be ok I'm sure. Maybe we can figure something out if you tell me what's going on. Is it your sister? Is she sicker than you thought? I've got some extra money if you need help with like a specialist or something." She gives a humorless laugh, shaking her head, "No Peeta, it's not my sister." She takes a deep breath before continuing "you know you're a really great person Peeta, I'm so sorry." Now I'm just confused so I ask "Sorry for what Annie, you don't have anything to apologize for?" She looks at the table while quietly telling me "I-I have to fire you Peeta. I'm so sorry, I don't know why she's making me do it, I mean it's not like I'm a manager or anything, I just work there." I tilt my head to the side not quite understanding what the hell is going on. "What are you talking about Annie? Fire me? It's my Parents cafe you can't fire me!" I say with an edge in my tone not really directed at Annie. Although this seems to bring her to at least look me in the eye before exclaiming "I know! That's What I tried to tell her, but she wouldn't listen! She said if I didn't have you gone by the end of today, not to bother coming in tomorrow because she'd fire me! I just- I wasn't going to even bring it up Peeta, but you don't understand, I really need this job. Really. I don't have the qualifications to do anything else, and your Dad is the only one in town I guess who felt sorry enough for me to actually give me a job." Then she starts crying again as I sit there dumbfounded. Fuck this sucks, I don't know why I'm so surprised, I really shouldn't be but for some reason it shocks the shit out of me.

After a few minutes I settle the check and tell Annie not to beat herself up about it, I know it's not her fault, she was just caught in the crossfire. I walk with Annie back to the cafe where we left our cars, she apologizes profusely and I assure her I don't hold it against her whatsoever, I get in the car and head back to my parents house, my whole body filled with anxiety over what I'll find when I get there.

My imagination runs wild assuming the house will be surrounded by police cars and psych ward ambulances, so I am pleasantly surprised to find the house dark and quiet. My Fathers truck sits in it's spot in the driveway when I pull up, I get out and head to the door only to find it locked. I try my key which has been the same for as long as I can remember only to find it fits neither the handle or the deadbolt. Upon closer inspection I find them both to be shiny and new, I kick the bottom of the door and curse profusely when the jolt vibrates up my un-leg causing a brief moment of pain. I pull my phone out and call the house number, Mother doesn't even say hello, just "you're shit's in the trash bags by the garbage can." then hangs up. I scroll through my contacts as I make my way to the curbside to get my stuff until I come across Finnicks number and send him a simple text asking if I can go ahead and move in tonight. While I wait for him to respond I load my 4 trash bags of personal stuff into my car along with my duffle bag. My phone pings just as I toss in the last one, a text from Finnick saying: yeah that's cool man, I'm not at the house right now but Jo is, make yourself at home. I'll send Jo a text now.

I can't be thankful enough for Katniss' heads up about Finnicks room for rent at this point. If it weren't for her I'd be jobless and homeless, what a nice fucking day this turned into.


	6. Chapter 6

Thank you to everyone who is still reading, I know it's been very angst filled so far, worry not though, good things will happen for our Peeta, it will just take time! I still don't own The Hunger Games, I'm just playing around in Suzanne Collins' sandbox! Sorry it's another short one, I have been trying to keep them seperated by day but this is pretty much just a part 2 of the last chapter. Inappropriate Language, Adult innuendos.

The drive to Finnicks (my new) house is quick, a heavy sense of melancholy has steadily settled over me since yesterday, being fired coupled with being kicked out has moved it from melancholy to depression. My heart feels heavy, my mind feels tired, all in all I just feel incredibly burdened and beaten down. I didn't really need the money from working at the cafe, but it gave me something to do to keep my mind off of everything else. I receive enough in disability and SMC to easily pay may way at Finnicks, but I just feel the need to do _something. _As I pull into the driveway of my new home I decide I'll worry about that tomorrow and spend the rest of tonight settling in here. I grab my duffle and 2 of the garbage bags and head towards the door.

I feel awkward, I'm not sure if I should knock or if I should just walk in, I mean although I do live here now, I don't want to walk in on Jo in a compromising position and start this cohabitation off on the wrong foot. On that note I decide knocking is the least awkward, that is until I see who answers the door, then shit really gets awkward.

"Bread boy! I knew you couldn't stay away!" Oh fuck, this entire time I was thinking 'Jo' was a guy, oh how wrong I was.

"Joey, wow you are not what I was expecting." I tell the stripper I paid to pretty much get the hell off of me.

"Uhg don't call me that, it's my stage name, the names' Johanna, or Jo for short. Unless I'm at work and there I'll be whoever you want for the right price." She tells me with a wink before stepping aside to let me through.

"Well Johanna, I'm sorry for the change in plans, I know I told Finn I'd wait till the weekend, but...well something came up." I say stopping in the foyer to set my bags down "do you mind if I leave these here for a sec. while I run out and grab the rest?"

She shrugs and tells me "I don't give a shit, you live here too now, do what the hell you want. I have 3 rules though: 1. stay the fuck out of my room, 2. Don't fucking touch me unless I say you can, third and listen close because it's the most important, . . . Kapeesh?" I grin at her tactless attitude and tell her "Yes ma'am."

She grins back and waggles her thin eyebrows at me before responding "A girl could get used to being talked to like that from a sexy thing like yourself."

I laugh a little at her crass attitude while I make my way back to the car for the other 2 bags. It's really no wonder she and Finn are roommates, they have the same cocky confidence and the looks to go with it. She closes the door behind me then promptly grabs the 2 bags I set down when I first came in, "Oh you don't have to do that, I'll get them I was just going to set these down first." I don't mean any offence by it, I just don't want to put her out, but from the look she gives me you'd almost think I just threatened to kill her dog.

"Do I look like a little girl to you? I could carry all of them if wanted to bread boy. Don't think I'm some weak bitch just because I'm a girl, I could totally kick your ass if I wanted too. And what the hell kind of luggage is this anyway?"

"I-It's not that I thought you couldn't, I just didn't want to impose. And it's last minute luggage, I just hope it's actually my stuff and not yesterdays garbage." I tell her hoping to ease the quickly ignited flame in her eyes. It must work though as she throws her head back laughing, "Oh man, you must be a real ladies man, not even home a week before the girls tossin' your shit out to the curb huh?"

I give her a humorless chuckle and murmur "Yeah something like that."

We get my things to my room I grab the duffle out of the foyer, Johanna asks me "Need any help unpacking hot stuff?" I tell her no thanks and she shrugs and saunters off. I start with my duffle bag as its the smallest, what I find makes me dread looking through the rest. Sitting on top are dozens of pictures of me. Cut out of ALL the family pictures, professional sittings, cafe pictures, baby pictures, every picture of me with my dad or brothers. All gone, all I got was dozens of Peetas'. I groan and dump the bag on the bed, it only gets worse, my paintings are shredded, my sketchbook is the same, my high school diploma is now a 40 piece puzzle, same with my birth certificate and discharge papers. The worst of it though are my Service Medals, the ribbons are shredded, the Medals look like she took a hammer to them then tossed them in a fire. They are utterly destroyed. This seems to be even more unforgivable than destroying all my mementos together. These were awarded to me and my brothers in combat, irreplaceable. In a fit a rage I hurl the pieces as hard as can against the door with a loud "Mother Fucker!" before hurling the duffle too. I almost punch the wall before I think twice about Finn killing me for fucking his house up.

The noise of course draws Johanna to my door with a loud "What the fuck are you- oh." She stops as bends to pick up the Medals, she doesn't say anything as she comes to sit next to me were I've seated myself on the edge of the bed. She looks over the other destroyed items on my bed, but still remains quiet other than a sigh and shake of her head. She grabs my hand and give it a squeeze, I look up to her as she begins speaking quietly. "I don't know what happened Peeta, and I don't expect you to tell me right now. Whatever it is though, just remember you are stronger than whatever problems you face. I know I have a tough exterior, but if you ever need a friend I'm here." I'm grateful for her in this moment, even if she's just a crazy stripper I hardly know, it's still nice to have someone remind me that I can be strong. "Thanks" I tell her simply, she lets go of my hand and gets up to leave. As she reaches the door she turns and says "Finnicks told me all about you Peeta, you're a good person, don't forget that."

I sit there for another minute before I pull myself together and dump all the other bags out, one right after the other not even bothering to look through them until they are all on the floor so I can just get pissed off once. Other than a few destroyed t-shirts the rest of my clothes seem in tact, she must have gotten bored pretty quickly once she realized she already destroyed everything that meant anything to me. Although she did keep about half of my prazosin, sucks to be her, I wouldn't take it if I didn't have such awful nightmares. I imagine she won't be interested in it much the first time it makes her blackout or faint. But that's exactly why you aren't supposed to take medication that isn't prescribed for you. I wonder if it will have any effect on her at all, I'd imagine after years of pharmaceutical abuse she's built up quite a tolerance by now. I spend the next hour hanging and putting my clothes in the dresser, I put my destroyed life in one of the empty drawers, I'll have to try to piece it back together eventually. I take a shower and my medication and fall into an empty sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

Thanks for sticking with me guys! A tad more everlark interaction in this chapter, not alot but these things take time! I still own nothing! It all belongs to the Lovely Suzanne Collins! I honestly can't believe this story has received 20 reviews, that has me totally stoked! And over 50 followers, you are all freaking awesome, and free happy dances in my head for everyone still reading! Nudity in this chapter, adult dialogue. I've been playing around with the idea of a Peeta fantasy scene, but just the idea makes me kinda nervous, there is nothing worse than an awkward smut scene so idk how into this M rating I'll get. My original idea was to describe the scenes in all their lovely sexy detail I just don't know if I'm the kind of writer that can pull off a scene like that. What do you think, avoid it to avoid awkwardness or try it and see how it goes?

I'm not quite sure what it is that awakens me at 5:30 the next morning, perhaps it's the fact that the house is still silent. I spend the next 30 minutes lying awake in bed, half luxuriating, half dreading the fact I have nothing to get up for. I try to enjoy it, I really do, but the past week weighs on me heavily. I slip out of bed a dress in a pair of sweats and an army shirt, deciding to go for a jog hoping to clear my head if only for a moment.

Its a warm morning, they usually are here in the south, but nothing like the heat of the desert overseas, I'd take a southern summer any day over the desert. About 4 blocks away I find a small park, its empty of course being so early, I make use of the water fountain and go another 6 blocks before turning around and heading back. I only managed to kill about 45 minutes and I'm not really ready to go back in and face the silence of the house, so I'm happy to see Katniss sitting on her porch with a mug in her hands. She gives me a small smile as I approach and I can't help but think her bedhead and sleepy smile must be the most beautiful I have ever seen.

I greet her with "you're up early." She smiles and looks toward the sky with a nod.

"Yeah, I like the quiet of the early mornings around here, in another hour everyone will be rushing around, starting their days. What about you?" She asks.

I shrug "I don't know, military time, bakers hours, both maybe." She nods and turns her face to the ground.

"Annie told me what happened, I was sorry to hear, their loss though, the cheese buns were never as good when you weren't working."

"That's because it's my recipe." I grin at her, one of my proudest moments was being included in the cafes' menu. "You know Annie?" I ask.

She nods explaining "Yeah, she's my roommate, has been for about a year and half now. She, um, also told me Effie Trinket set you up on a blind date." At this admission she blushes, I don't know why she'd be embarrassed, although the way she wears a blush makes me want to embarrass her more often.

"Yeah, well I didn't have much choice in the matter, she basically just came in and threw instructions at me." I hesitate before adding "I'd much rather take you out." She flushes again, the pinkness tinting all the way down her chest and disappearing under her tank top.

"Well, maybe she won't show, then you could give me a call and I could be your blind date." She says, her face and voice sounding confident, although I detect a sense of vulnerability from the way she ducks her head after she speaks.

"Well, that would be perfect, except I don't have your number." Ha, that has got to be the smoothest way I've ever asked for a womans' number, I'm actually pretty proud of myself!

"Let's rectify that then, let me see your phone." she requests holding out her hand, in which I promptly fumble my phone from my pocket like a jack ass. So much for smooth. She messes around with the gadget for a minute before handing it back with "There ya go, you've got mine and I've got yours, now in the event of a stand up we're both covered."

"Excellent" I tell her grinning like an idiot. I got Katniss Everdeens' number, yeah it took me over a decade, but dammit I got it now!

She stands up and smiles at me like she's never seen me before then tells me "I'm really happy you're back Peeta. I've got to go start breakfast, call me later?"

"Definitely" I reply before stopping her as she turns to go inside "Um, actually I was just going to start breakfast at the house if you want to come, I'm sure Finn won't mind." She shakes her head no though telling me "I'd love too, I just can't today, another time for sure though, and you'll have to make cheese buns."

"For you Katniss nothing but the best. Thank you by the way, for letting me know about Finnicks' place, it was impeccable timing." She smiles and says "No problem Peeta, see you later."

"Later" I reply with a wave. I've never been so hopeful to be stood up in my life, maybe I can sabotage this blind date somehow, find one of those multicolored propeller top hats and some huge framed glasses, maybe even borrow Katniss' bow-tie.

Back at home Jo & Finn are still sleeping so I decide on a shower before I start looking for something for breakfast. There isn't alot in the kitchen, but there is some milk, eggs, bread and syrup so I settle on french toast. 10 minutes into preparing the meal the smell arouses Johanna, I only know this, since my back is turned to the entrance, because she states "You better have enough for me too bread boy!" I laugh and tell her "Of course Jo." I hear her mumbling to herself, something about fucking blondie waking her up before noon, better be the best fucking pancakes ever. I turn to correct her mistaken nose and tell her it is french toast not pancakes, but what I see makes me choke on my own spit. Johanna clad in nothing but a pair of black and pink plaid panties. "Johanna! Did you forget something! You're fucking naked, go put some damn clothes on!" I tell her turning back to my cooking so she can't see how worked up the site of her made me. I'm sure I'd never hear the end of it if she did. She laughs so hard she actually snorts and asks "What's wrong blondie? Never seen a set of knockers before? You better adjust to nudity around here, it happens quite often."

"What happens quite often" comes the voice of Finnick I glance over and see he's in nothing but a pair of very tight boxer briefs. "Jeez, no wonder the place was so cheap, I didn't realize I was moving into a nudist colony." I say resolutely keeping my back to the pair, I was absolutely right in my assumption of them being perfect roommates last night. "What, do you find this distracting?" Finnick asks, his voice laced with humor. I shake my head at the pair, "Well I suppose if you two want to burn your nipples off it's your choice, the syrups hot and I'm not cooling it off just so you can eat in the buff." I hear the laughter as they both go to (hopefully) get dressed. I serve the plates of french toast and by the time I've sat down to eat they've returned in more, publicly appropriate attire. "Thanks, I can't imagine it's very hygienic to eat in your birthday suit." I say, to which Finn replies "There is nothing better to do than eat in a birthday suit. Hell you should know that Peet, what was that name the girls all had for you in high school? OH, yeah Lickity Split, well it was funny in high school anyway, now it just seems kinda stupid." I sigh "It was always stupid Finn, you're only just catching up." I tell him with a grin. The rest of the meal continues with casual conversation and banter between the 3 of us. It's nice, a little grotesque at times but nice. It feels like more of a family meal than any that I had while living at my parents.

Johanna offers to clean up the kitchen, but only after making it explicitly clear that it's not her job just because she's a woman "You have to clean up your own messes around here blondie." I assure her that I don't expect my laundry ironed just because she's cleaning the kitchen, I just want it washed and folded, she flips me the bird and threatens to take her clothes off again. Finnick and I go into the living room and play a few rounds of Black Ops before I give up and decide to text my brothers and let them know of my new living arrangements and job (or lack thereof) situation. I get the typical responses back, "Sorry brother, let me know if you need anything, you can always come here." I thank them and decline for now and promises to call them if I change my mind.

I spend the rest of the day using Finns laptop combing the help wanted sections of every classifieds and job sites I can find. Unfortunately like Annie, I don't really have any use in the world outside working for the cafe. My options lie mainly in working at the local grocer as a night stocker or as a gas station clerk. I consider looking into classes at the local community college but only get as far as the homepage before I realize I have absolutely no idea what I want to do with my life. I guess I always assumed I'd take over the cafe when Dad retired, but apparently that's out the window. I drop my head into my hands, my elbows resting on the table and take a few deep breathes in an attempt to clear my mind, I need to focus on what's in my future, not what's in my past. Shortly after 4:00 Finnick asks what the hell I'm doing searching for jobs on craigslist, so I tell him about everything that's been going on, I start with only the previous couple days, then in turns into basically the life story of the Mellarks that he's never known. By the time I'm done rehashing my real life (in stead of the happy family story he's always known) to him it's after 8:00. He shakes his head and pats my shoulder when he tells me not to worry about anything, "we'll get you fixed up man, I know everyone worth a shit in this town, we'll find you somewhere you'll be happy. Don't worry about the money, I really don't need it, especially if it's going to put you working as a gas station clerk." It's a kind gesture, but unnecessary and I tell him about my government checks. He just shakes his head and tells me he doesn't need it before asking if I want pizza for dinner. I agree and we order from a local pizzeria, the 3 of us spend the rest of the night watching comedy central and vegging out. It's nice, it's normal, it's just what I need.


	8. Chapter 8

So this chapter skips a few days, they will most likely continue like this except for important days, the day by day was just necessary to get through Peetas' first bought of angst. I think I'll go ahead and attempt the adult scene in the next chapter, it will be necissary for me to figure out the smut writing for the later chapters, but it won't be a fantasy of Peeta, it will be Peetas' fantasy. I don't think this chapter has any warnings other than a bit of adult language. I don't own the hunger games or anything to do with willy wonka!

The next few days pass relatively quickly, I jog in the mornings, Katniss is always on her porch upon my return and we chat for a few minutes before one or the other of us heads off to start our days. I spend most days just hanging out with Finnick or Johanna, sometimes we go to the gym, sometimes we swim, sometimes we just lounge around playing video games. I go the grocery store, stock the kitchen and take on the role of household chef. True to her word Johanna only does the dishes for me occasionally. I make it to an arts & crafts store and get myself some new paints, brushes and canvas', Mother didn't see fit to include my art supplies with my belongings she so kindly set out in the garbage for me. I pick up some sketch paper and pencils as well, knowing I'll most likely get more use out of them than the paints. I spend a good number of hours trying to recreate the younger photos of my brothers and me. I also spend a great number of hours sketching Katniss, drawing her is almost like riding a bike, I've done it so many times I could probably accomplish a pretty decent sketch of her blindfolded.

Before I know it Saturday has arrived, and as much as I'd like to sabotage it, I just can't bring myself to do it. It just seems mean and uncalled for when I can just provide her with a nice evening and a gentle let down. I dress in dark-wash jeans and a blue v-neck, hoping the attire is suitable for this seafood restaurant. It must be a new place because I'd never heard of it before I left. Strangely enough the parking lot is practically empty, which just doesn't seem right for an upscale seafood restaurant on a Saturday night. I park my car and head inside, giving the incredibly bored looking hostess my name and telling her I'm expecting somebody. Just like the parking lot, the place is dead, only one other table is occupied and I think they might actually be the waitstaff.

My suspicions are proven correct when one of them stands and make his way to my table to get my drink order. I figure if I have a drink now and not during the meal I'll be okay by the end of the meal to drive so I order a jack and coke hoping it will calm my nerves a little before the mysterious woman arrives (or hopefully doesn't). When he comes back with my drink he brings a basket of what he claims is fresh garlic-cheddar biscuits. I can tell just by eyeing them they are in fact not fresh, and most likely are made not by hand but from a freezer. One taste is all it takes for me to realize why this place is so dead, it is awful, there isn't a single good thing to say about them. They are stale, over garliced and I can definitely taste the freezer on them, just terrible. I end up downing the the rest of my drink just to get the taste out of my mouth.

About 10 minutes later a buxom blonde is escorted to the table by the hostess, I stand and shake her hand, she introduces herself as Glimmer to which I have to swallow a laugh. Seriously who names their kid Glimmer? The waiter comes back to take her drink order and I switch to a Coke, and she orders the most expensive red wine in the house. She takes one of the biscuits and actually moans a little as she eats it, obviously she has no idea what good food is. When the waiter returns with our drinks and to take our order she again orders the most expensive thing on the menu, steak and shrimp while I order the well priced stuffed crab.

"So Peeta, Effie tells me you own a Cafe?" I'm not really sure how to respond to that, getting fired by my own parents doesn't exactly seem like 'get to know you' appropriate conversations so I just reply "Well, no actually my Father owns a cafe." Leaving out the fact I'm no longer part of the Mellarks employed by Mellarks Cafe, "Oh, so you'll own it one day then, is it very profitable?" I have to pick my jaw up from the table at her line of questioning, nothing quite says gold-digger like "tell me how much money you make". I don't think it will take much sabotage to make this a date from hell "It does alright, what do you do for a living?" She scrunches her nose at this, I assume because 'work' is not something she is accustomed too, "I do a bit of modeling here and there, I'm actually flying to California next month for a movie audition, I'm not really sure why I need to audition though, I mean it's not like they're going to find anyone better." she tells me with the most annoying laugh I've ever heard. Where Katniss' is similar to wind chimes on a breezy morning, Glimmers is more like and evil version of nails on a chalk board mixed with a semi's horn. Our food arrives much quicker than I expected it to, which most likely is a sign that it isn't as fresh as it should be, it doesn't look too bad though. Glimmer asks for another glass of wine and then begins to spend the entire duration of our meal talking about her on again off again relationship with her ex Cato all the while eating maybe 2 of her shrimp and 1 bite of her steak.

"I just can't understand him you know? His Grandfather is one of the wealthiest me in the area and he just can't keep his sticking fingers to himself. Right now he's in jail for 2 months for breaking and entering, he doesn't need or want for anything, it's almost like he's just addicted to committing crimes!" She tells me enthusiastically, I try to concentrate on my meal, but that proves difficult when it's comparable to the bisquits. Freezer tasting and anything but fresh, I eat it anyway though, I would hate for Effie to pay for an uneaten meal, no matter how annoying she is. When Glimmer attempts to order her 5th glass of wine I ask her "Are you going to be able to drive home after all that?" She laughs that horribly obnoxious laugh and assures me her driver is waiting in the parking lot, I ask if she'd like a to-go box for the meal she still has 95% of sitting on her plate and she looks at me like I'm an idiot before asking "Why would I want a to-go box?" I can't think of a response so I just shrug.

She continues talking for the next 15 minutes and I swear with every word that falls from her mouth, a little bile rises up in my throat. Eventually I just get to the point I can't take it anymore "Hey, um I'm not feeling so well, I think I'm going to call it a night if you don't mind, you want me to walk you to your car?" To which she responds "Oh, no I'll just have my driver come to the front and pick me up, you know you could always come back to my place, I'm sure I could make you feel better." At this her tone turns to what I believe should be seductive and she leans forward a little revealing more cleavage than I'm interested in seeing. I deny telling her "No actually I forgot I have an acute shellfish allergy and I kind of need to get home and give myself a shot before my throat swells shut and my face looks like that blueberry girl from Willy Wonka." At this she looks absolutely disgusted and tells me "Of course, you should get home, I'd hate to see a handsome face like yours turn green! Here let me give you my number, maybe we can get together again sometime." Obviously she's never seen Charlie and The Chocolate Factory. She hands me a pink business card with silver embossed writing as I stand and wish her a good night before dropping a $20 on the table as an apology to the waitstaff for having to work at such a shitty place.

I promptly head for the exit disposing of Glimmers business card in the trash can by the front door. When I get in my car I text Katniss asking what she's up to, she texts back that she's working and can't really talk right now but wants all the details of my date in the morning. I consider heading to the club to have a drink before heading home but think better of it, I'll just end up staying there all night getting trashed just so I can check her out in her panty-shorts. That and I know for a fact Johanna is working tonight and now that we're roommates that just seems 50 different kinds of inappropriate. So I text her back telling her it was awful and I'll tell her all about it as soon as I stop vomiting.


	9. Chapter 9

So here is my attempt at the adult scene I was talking about. I'm pretty nervous about it, but I don't think it came out too terrible. More everlark in this chapter, I know it's slow going between them, but when is anything with love and Katniss quick? I still don't own The Hunger Games or any of the characters unfortunately. WARNINGS: Sexual Scenarios, Adult Language, Adult Content, Child Abuse.

When I wake up Sunday morning I know right away I won't be doing any jogging, I feel so shitty I almost think it's karma for lying about the shellfish allergy. It's already 8:00 so I figure maybe I'm just hungry for something that doesn't taste like ass. I toast a few pieces of bread and eat it dry hoping it well settle my stomach and start a batch of cheese buns, I figure it gives me an excuse to go see Katniss since I didn't jog this morning.

As I'm pulling them out of the oven to cool, I hear a knock at the door, Jo & Finn were out late last night so they're still in bed. I set down the pan and answer the door, and to my joy, find Katniss standing there.

"Hey!" she greets brightly "I didn't see you on your way back this morning, thought I'd come by and make sure the blind date didn't poison you."

"No, just wasn't feeling well this morning so I didn't go, don't ever eat at Senecas Seafood, it's awful!" I tell her opening the door and gesturing for her to come inside. "I was going to come by though as soon as the cheese buns cooled."

"You made cheese buns! Oh god Peeta you are my new best friend. And I know all about Senecas, my Dad took me there for graduation, he wanted to take me somewhere special and that is about as upscale as it gets around here. I think it took me 3 days to get over the nausea." She says as we make our way back to the kitchen. I set one of the cheese buns on a small saucer for her and the rest on a dinner plate and set them in the center of the table. "You aren't having any?" She asks eyeing the buns nervously. "No I had some dry toast already, I actually made them for you, you know so I had an excuse to see you." I tell her running a hand through my hair, feeling my face heat up. She just smirks and takes a bite, her eyes roll back in her head and she moans. It's so incredibly enticing I actually have to sit down so she doesn't see the effect she has on me. "Good?" I ask "Peeta, oh my god these are just so good, you have the best buns around."

"Peeta you better not be fucking on my kitchen table dude!" Comes Finnicks voice from the hallway, "What are you talking about Finn?" I ask "Well I smelled good food so I got up, then I heard moaning and talk of your ass." He replies as he comes into full view, thankfully wearing a pair of sleep pants.

"I was not talking about his ass, you jerk! I was talking about his cheese buns, Jeez Finn you can be such a perv!" Katniss replies as her face loses the redness it had acquired from Finnicks teasing. Finnick snags a cheese bun and lets out a moan as well making Katniss laugh "See I told you, it's all about the cheese buns Finn, so you can get your mind out of the gutter now." She tells him, Finnick playfully pouts saying "But it likes it in the gutter, that's were all the easy chicks are!" Katniss snorts at his comment and informs him "Those easy chicks aren't going to get you any closer to Annie."

Finnick softens considerably at the mention of Annies' name, he gives Katniss a small sad smile saying "Yeah, I know, but at this point I don't think there's much I can do to get closer to Annie. She already thinks I'm a sleaze, and it's not like there's alot of evidence pointing to the contrary." Katniss nods before saying "Well, you're the only one who can change that Finn." A couple of minutes of tense silence lapse before I have to break it "I didn't know you were sweet on Annie, Finn." Katniss seems to find this hilarious as she almost chokes on her third cheese bun in the process of trying to laugh with her mouth full, it's actually kind of cute. "Sweet on her! I haven't heard that since I was in elementary school. Seriously though I don't think 'sweet on her' quite covers buying a house just because it's across the street. I would think obsessed is a more apt term. OUCH!" The table jumps as Finn kicks her in the shin, which just makes her laugh even harder.

"Subject Change!" Finnick announces "So I was thinking we have a bbq poolside tonight to welcome Peeta to the neighborhood."

"You don't have to do that Finn, really it's not necessary." I tell him

"Nonsense, it gives me an excuse to mingle with Annie anyway, invite Prim and your Dad too. It'll be great!" He directs at Katniss, she just gives a non-committal nod. "I'll make sure Peet makes some more buns." He tells her in a sing song voice, she promptly replies "Deal!" Before excusing herself to go before we wake Johanna up because "I am not going to be the one she beheads with an axe for waking her up before noon after a night from hell" she tells us.

Finnick stuffs another cheese bun in his mouth mumbling something about a shower and phone calls to make. I wash the dishes I used for the cheese buns and consider inviting my brothers, but think better of it considering the ridiculous amount of driving it would take them to get here then home for a simple bbq. I instead set to work making a the dough for a cherry pie and apple pie instead. I decide to take a shower while they are cooling but not before washing the dishes I used and setting a note next to them with big bold letters that says DO NOT EAT. SERIOUSLY.

I strip of all my clothes and stand under the cool spray of the water, as I wash my hair my mind wanders to Katniss, I can't believe she's actually a part of my life. It's something I always hoped for but never expected, especially not once she started hanging around Hawthorne. I think about her genuine laugh, not like the fake giggles you get from most girls, I think about her hard to earn smiles and her sexy eyes. Then of course my mind takes me down a road I hadn't originally intended, like the way her ass looks in her work shorts, and her breast in those tank tops she has on in the morning, I bet they are a perfect palm full. Before I even realize it my dick hard and my slippery soap covered hand makes it's way down to grasp it firmly. I really try not to use Katniss to fuel my fantasies, but if I'm honest with myself, she is my fantasy. I imagine the way she would feel wrapped around me, the way her perky nipples would taste, how they would bounce as she rides me. Then I replay her moan from the table over and over as I fantasize about actually fucking her on the table, bending her across, imagine the way her ass would look as I thrust into her from behind. That's about all it takes before I spill myself all over the shower wall and take in a deep breath through my teeth to keep from moaning out loud.

I rinse the evidence off the shower wall before finishing my shower and getting out. I try to fight down the feelings of guilt I always get when I do that. I know masturbating isn't wrong, but after the first few wet dreams I had that left evidence behind, that Mother of course found in the laundry, she made a point of telling me what a disgusting little freak I was and promptly belting my hands until I could hardly hold a pencil the next day, well that sort of shit just tends to stick with you. My brothers were the ones to actually explain the birds and bees to me, and tell me it was in fact just a normal part of being human.

I dress and ask Finn what time he's expecting everyone, "Probably around 3, I'm gonna head to the grocery store and gets some meat, you want to light the pit for me?" he asks. I nod and he tells me where everything is.

Once I've got it by the pool and lit I head back in, it's already noon and Finnick didn't say anything about side dishes so I set to work on cheese buns, deviled eggs and a pasta salad.

When Finnick returns he exclaims "Dude, you are a fucking lifesaver, I forgot all about shit to go with it!" I grin at him "It's cool Finn, I know you're a carnivore." He gives me a sly grin back "Yes, yes I am. Wanna help me season this?" Johanna gets up around noon and declares she will be manning the pit, I'm honestly afraid to argue with her and I think Finnick is just happy it will give him an out to pursue Annie.

Just as Johanna takes the meat out to the grill, the guests start arriving, and in true southern style about half of them bring side dishes as well. Even Mr. Everdeen brings what looks to be a store bought blueberry pie, "Prim couldn't make it?" I inquire to Katniss.

"She's hanging out at my house, keeping an eye on Annies' sister." She tells me, earning a questioning glance from her Father, which she shuts down with a stern glare of her own. The exchange is odd, but I don't want to pry so I leave it alone.

The turn out is amazing for being a last minute get together, there are alot of faces here I knew throughout my school years, Delly Cartwright, Thom Dunhill even the town drunk Haymitch Abernathy shows up bearing a case of beer. Most greet me with the standard soldiers welcome home. Haymitch just looks me up and down and says "Good to see your still alive." Before grabbing a beer and heading to the patio. I don't get to hang out with Katniss as much as I'd like throughout the day, but honestly Mr. Everdeen still makes me as nervous as a 14 year old boy, so maybe it's a good thing. Finnick actual manages to bring a few smiles to Annies' face, and by the time the bbq has come to an end I don't feel quite so angry when someone welcomes me home. Delly gushes about college, Thom gushes about Delly and Haymitch offers me a job. At least I think he does when he says "Heard you was unemployed boy, come by the bar Tuesday, we'll talk." Not that I really have any bar experience, but I need something to keep me busy.

Katniss is one of the last to leave, staying to help clean up a bit. She makes a few to go plates for Prim and Annies' sister, Mr. Everdeen had gone back to Annies' a few minutes before. As she's leaving she tells me "I'm really happy you're here Peeta, I worried about you." Then stands on her toes and places a chaste kiss on my lips. She smiles at my shock and shouts a "See you later Peeta" over her shoulder as she jogs home, hands full of food. Today was a great fucking day. I fall asleep without taking my meds and actually don't hate myself for it when dreams of Katniss' lips invade my mind.


	10. Chapter 10

Kudos to you if you are still reading this, I read a few of the other chapters and cannot believe how many typos I made! So I apologies in advance for anymore I do make! Once again I don't own anything it all belongs to Suzanne Collins. Warnings: Adult Language yeah I think that's it! Enjoy!

Monday morning, I awake feeling with a feeling of peace I don't think I've ever felt before, its nice so I lay in bed savoring for a few minutes more. When I do decide to get out of bed and go for my jog the smell of coffee greets me, which is odd since I'm usually the first one awake.

I find Finnick in the kitchen wearing a very sleek looking Armani suit that probably costs more than his mortgage, I raise an eyebrow at him, silently asking 'what the fuck?'

"My parents are in town, we're doing brunch. I was thinking about asking Annie if she wanted to join me."

"Don't you think its a little early for a meet the parents?"

He takes a deep breath and shrugs "I've been trying to get her attention for 2 years, I've tried everything, I just thought maybe a different approach or.." He trails off, "I just thought maybe if she saw me in a more professional setting she might think I was worth her time." For the first time ever I see longing and dejection in Finnicks eyes. Its a look I'm quite familiar with so it surprises that I've never seen it before, he must be at champ at hiding his emotions.

"Well, ask her then, the worst thing she can do is say no, which isn't even a loss since she'll get to check you out in that spiffy suit. I only worked with her 2 days so its not like I'm an expert or anything, but I do know she's timid and nice. And I doubt very seriously she'd say no if you asked her as a favor. She doesn't seem like the type of friend that would turn her back on you." This seems to perk him up a bit.

"Yeah, yeah I can ask her as a favors and then offer to take her to dinner as payback. Fuck Peet, your a damn genius!" Then the sky from I recognise so well takes over face before he says, "So you really think the suits spiffy huh? Its cool Peet, I won't tell anyone you we're checking me out." I punch him in the shoulder before I head toward the front, his cackles following me till I shut the door.

Katniss is already outside, so I figure I'll stop and chat before I get all sweaty. Surprisingly Annie is with her on the porch this morning, "Good morning ladies, no work today Annie?"

"No, I get 1 day a week off, Pollux's wife Lavinia is starting her own wedding planner business and covers for me once a week."

As soon as Annie finishes her explanation Katniss starts talking excitedly like she's been biting her tongue for ages "You never did tell me about your date, other than the shitty good."

"The date Effie set you up on?" Annie asks with as much enthusiasm as Katniss, it almost makes me think they like the drama.

I groan "It was just plain awful, I actually know more about her ex than I do her, they honestly sound perfect for each other now that I think about it. Her name was Glimmer and apparently she is going to be a Hollywood starlet. Honestly though if she keeps on downing the red wine like water and refusing to walk more than the 2 feet from a door to her drivers car she will most likely end up on some horrible reality show. But hey at least I know all about her spoiled crook of an ex right! I'm sure Cato is.."

"Cato?" Annie interrupts, her face losing all colors "I-I need to go in, I think Emma might be awake." She stammers as she hurries into the house leaving me dumbfounded.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know she knew him." I tell Katniss, pissed off at myself for bringing Annie down yet again.

She shakes her head sadly before telling me quietly "Cato is the piece of shit that killed her parents."

"What? Are you sure its the same Cato? I mean, Glimmer said he was only doing 2 months on a breaking and entering. Not that I would put much stock in what she says or anything.." I say trailing off, Katniss gives me a small nod.

"She was telling the truth, even with Annies' eyewitness testimony, his family still managed to get the murder charges dropped, in exchange for a guilty plea for breaking and entering. His family has connections in every part of the government throughout the state."

"That's fucked up." I know its a lame response, but really what else is there to say about something so, well, fucked up.

She snorts, "That's poor mans' justice Peeta. Well I better go in and talk to her, she tends to get lost in her own head when the subject comes up."

I nod and apologies again, before setting off on my jog, hoping it will ease some of my guilt over Annie and anger at the justice system.

Its later than usual when I reach the park and there are a few young kids playing. I sit on the bench and enjoy the carefree happiness that radiates here. I always wanted kids, maybe because I just needed that unconditional love or maybe because I just felt the need to do better than my parents did. I decide to leave before I start looking like some sort of creeper, Katniss isn't on her porch when I go by so I just go straight home and take a shower.

I've been in my room working on my sketches for and hour or two when Finnick comes bounding in, "She said yes man, I can't fucking believe it but she said yes!"

"That's great Finn, surprising, but great!"

"Why is it surprising?" At his question I explain what happened this morning, "Well, if it's any consolation I don't think she held it against you, I mean it's not like you were defending the douche bag or anything. She seemed to be in pretty good spirits while I was there so maybe she just needed some time to herself. Don't beat yourself up about it Peeta, you couldn't have known. I've gotta get outta here though or we're going to be late. Later Peet!"

Shortly after he leaves, I text Katniss and ask what she's doing this week, she responds with 'not much, working Tuesday and Thursday through Sunday'. I think for few minutes before texting her back, I can't very well take her to dinner and the movies, she's not like other women. I search for outdoor activities on my iphone and come with a plan pretty quickly. I ask if she'd be interested in going on that date with me Wednesday, she asks what time and I respond with all day. When she doesn't text back for 5 minutes I start to get worried that maybe I pissed her off earlier when I upset Annie, but another 5 minutes later she texts back and says 'sounds great, what should I wear?' I tell her to dress for the weather and comfortable walking shoes. I get a reply from her consisting of 3 question marks, but decide to leave it at that, after all it won't be the worlds best date if it's not a surprise right?

When I head to the kitchen to fix myself some lunch I find Johanna severely burning a grilled cheese and cursing like a sailor. When she notices me she says "Thank god! I thought I was actually going to have to eat this crap, please tell me you're going to make food." I laugh at her and nod, she promptly dumps the grilled cheese into the garbage. I make us chicken salad sandwiches from some of the left over bbq. When she bites into the sandwich she moans and asks "Are you're brothers good cooks too?" I nod "Are they single?" I freeze with my sandwich halfway to my mouth, which makes her cackle like the wicked witch of the west. "Um, yes they are, or were last time I asked." I reply uncomfortably

"Oh don't look so surprised, a man that cooks and does his own damn laundry is hot. Don't think I haven't noticed the way you get all googly eyed and stupid when brainless is around. I'm not about to win you over, might as well try out your brothers." At my bewildered expression she cracks up again. From around a mouth full of chicken sandwich she mumbles "Oh man, if you could see your face right now, it's priceless! Really though, you think I would be that bad of a sister in law?"

"No! It was just such an off the wall thing to bring up, I never thought you would be in to the whole domesticated sort. I always figured you for a 'rebel guy' kind of girl."

She snickers and says "No, I've had my fair share of rebels, not a single one was ever worth a damn, figured I'd try something new."

"Well I'll see them sometime soon, maybe I can cook here for Thanksgiving and I could invite them, it's been years since we were together for a holiday."

"That would be awesome, Finn and I just go to Cinnas Steakhouse for the holidays."

"What about your family? Think they'd want to come?"

Her eyes turn to stone before she tells me "They're dead." Great, I'm just doing fucking awesome sticking my foot in my mouth today, I apologies but she waves it off.

"It was years ago, and honestly they were a bunch of assholes anyway, I'm sure you understand." Of course I do, if it weren't for my brothers anyway, I'm thankful I at least have them.

We spend the rest of the afternoon chatting about safe topics, I tell her my idea for the date, she calls me a mush. She tells me being a dancer wasn't really her job of choice but she has to pay off he criminal justice degree somehow. Shortly after 8 Finnick shows up looking like he just got down from walking on the clouds.

"I'm going to marry Annie one day, mark my words."

"So I take it the brunch went well?"

"It was perfect, my parents doted over her like the daughter they never had, and she actually enjoyed it."

"That's great man!"

"Yeah, now I have to figure out how to trick her into a date with just me."

Johanna decides this is a good time to hit him in the face with a throw pillow and tell him quite sternly "Quit thinking about how to trick her and just be a man Finnick!"

"Okay, okay! I won't trick her, I already owe her a nice night out anyway." He tells her with a wink.

"Ugh Finnick Odair you are such a bastard! Quit trying to dupe the poor girl already." She tells him.

"Alright, chill out Jo! Here, want a sugar cube?"


	11. Chapter 11

I'm so sorry, I know you guys probably got used to the everyday updates! I'm playing the mother-in-law card on this one, for any of you who are married you should understand the hell I'm going through right now... Unfortunately I don't know when she is leaving so the updates may still be sporadic. The good news is the next chapter will be the fabulous everlark 1st date! YAY! Warnings: Adult Language, Sexual Harassment. I still don't own The Hunger Games. I'm un-beta'd so all the mistakes are me! I do run spell check though so hopefully it should only be grammatical errors.

On a more serious note, I don't want to read hateful guest reviews. I'd love to hear happy reviews, constructive reviews, or even "I don't really care for this" reviews. But if you are just going to leave a review saying this is trash and the hunger games are trash, don't waste your time because I'm just going to make fun of you on tumblr. I respect your right to not like my story, but you don't have to be an asshole about it.

I wait until around 4 on Tuesday to go to Abernathys, he didn't really specify a time so I figured anytime after he opened at 2 would be good. Its a small well kept billiard hall, I've never actually been inside until today. There are 6 pool tables, a shuffleboard table, a handful of electronic dart boards and a few ticket only slot machines. A long bar takes up one wall manned by a fierce looking brunette woman who is serving a few patrons that look as though they are permanent fixtures.

"I'm looking for Haymitch, he told me to stop by today."

The woman looks at me as though I just threatened to kill her cat with a glare that makes me wonder how many people she scared away each night.

"Do I look like his fucking secretary pretty boy? I'm a bartender not that drunk assholes' bitch, find him yourself." She spits with enough venom it makes me believe I did in fact kill her cat. I stand there slack jawed for a moment before one of the older patrons points to a door marked employees only and says "check his office". I thank the man before making my way over and knocking on the door. I hear muted cursing before the door swings open revealing Haymitch.

"Clove, what the hell- oh hey boy, sorry I thought it was the banshee again. Come on in." He wanders back over to his desk and tells me to close the door, it looks like a stock room full of liquor bottles on shelves with a small desk tucked against one wall with a computer atop it. The room smells like old liquor, I'm not sure if it's due to Haymitchs' excessive intake or just the fact that it's the stock room, I'd put my money on Haymitch.

"So your old man gave you the boot huh? Looks like his line of successors is about depleted now ain't it?"

"I suppose, he didn't really fire me, it was my Mother, but it's not like he did anything to stop it either. I guess they'll just sell the place when they get too old to manage it. Anyhow, I don't have any experience in bartending, I'd be willing to learn of course if you'd be willing to show me the ropes."

He waves his hand in dismissal "I'm not looking for a bartender, well not yet anyway, gotta prioritize, I need a good cook before I start lookin' to replace killer out there. Take a look." He pulls up a surveillance program on his computer, the screen is of what appears to be the bar kitchen occupied by a middle-aged balled guy, he's cooking on the grill with a metal spatula in hand, the kitchen seems to be an utter mess, definitely not where I'd want my food coming from.

"Is this real time?" Haymitch nods and I look back to the screen just as the balled guy scratches his plumbers crack with the spatula.

"Oh god, that is fucking disgusting Haymitch!"

"Yup, so as you can see I need a cook. My bar used to stay full, now I'm lucky to get my regulars in anymore, gotta get this place back in order. So what d'ya say? Can you cook a burger, a steak, wings, yada yada?"

"Well yeah, I'm better at pastries and bread, but I'm pretty sure a monkey could do a more sanitary job than that guy!"

"I'm sure, but Brutus asked for the job before I got a chance to interview a monkey after my other cook went off to college. Want the job? You'd get Sunday & Monday off, no benefits $12 an hour. Ain't much but if we can get this place back to it's heyday I'm sure we can renegotiate."

"When do I start?"

Haymitch grins and says "How about Thursday, gimme tomorrow to get fat head outta here."

"Sounds good, but I won't cook Thursday, I'll be here at open and there needs to be 4 gallons of bleach and probably a dozen sponges here. I'm not cooking shit in that kitchen until every piece has been completely sterilized." That earns another grin from him and a nod.

"Alright, sounds good boy I'll see you Thursday, now get the hell outta my office so I can get some work done." At this he grabs a bottle of vodka out of his bottom drawer and unscrews the lid "Liquid courage, make it hurt a little less when Brutus punches me in the face for firing him."

I shake my head and smile at him "Alright, see you Thursday Haymitch." I leave him to his drinking and manage to get past the bartender without anymore dirty looks, I'm sure working with her is going to be just super. Maybe he'll find someone to replace her too, because she is honestly the most horrid bitch I've ever come across, I wonder what in the hell made her decide bartending was a good fit for her. Whatever it was, she severely miscalculated.

I know it's not a glamorous job, or considering Clove even enjoyable for that matter, but I'm excited anyway. I feel like celebrating my new crappy job, it feels like the first thing I've done on my own. I mean my parents put me to work as soon as humanly possible and the military wasn't going to reject a physically fit, right minded 18 year old. I'm taking it as an accomplishment, fuck anyone who doesn't think so. Before I pull out of the parking lot I text Finnick to see if he has plans, he texts back saying yes, he's actually taking Annie out for dinner tonight. I think about calling my brothers, but again the long drive for them makes me stop before I even really consider it. I know Johanna is at home, but I don't think we are quite to the point of friends that celebrate alone together yet, if ever. Her lack of modesty kind of frightens me. Katniss is working tonight so that's a no, unless of course I go celebrate at Legs. The idea isn't as unsettling as it was when my brothers took me, it actually sounds pretty fucking great come to think of it. I get to see Katniss, complete with her tight little panty shorts, I get to have a few drinks, then I have an excuse to ogle Katniss some more while I stick around longer to sober up. Yes, that sounds like an epic idea.

The parking lot for the club only holds a few cars, not surprising for 5 on a Tuesday I suppose. Inside there are only 2 tables taken one with a white haired old man and one very obese man with a comb over. I take a seat toward the back of the club and Katniss spots me immediately, she strides over to my table with a small smile playing at her lips.

"Hey, I didn't expect to see you here, you didn't seem all too enthusiastic to be here last time."

"Yeah well I wasn't really, but now that I know you work here, I'm much happier with the establishment."

"Want a drink? Or did you just come by to see Foxface hump the stage?"

"I didn't come here to watch the strippers Katniss, I actually came to see you. I got a job at Abernathys'."

"Really? Are you replacing that cook he keeps bitching about?"

"Yeah, that guy is absolutely filthy, he actually scratched his ass with the spatula!"

"Oh don't tell me that I've eaten there!" I laugh at her completely disgusted face, she looks as though she may actually vomit for a minute. Before I get a chance to respond a man with black hair and a very strange beard comes up behind her "Katniss, are you going to get this man a drink or not?"

"Yes Mr. Crane." She masks all familiarity between us when she asks "What can I get you to drink sir?"

"Bud light please." Mr. Crane wanders back to whatever corner he was hiding in and I watch Katniss' ass as she walks up to the bar to get my drink. When she returns she mouths 'sorry' before going to check on her other customers. As she goes to walk away from the white haired old man he reaches out a smacks her ass. Hard. It's loud enough to cause the dancer on stage to fall off the pole and turn Katniss' face into a very angry red as she stands stock still, I assume fighting the urge to turn around and beat him in the face with her tray. I get up to go and kick his ass for her, because obviously I'm still love sick, and now pissed off, and I won't get fired so fuck 'em. Before I can get halfway across the bar to him the muscled bouncer gets to him and drags him out of the bar by the back of his collar. Which sucks because now I'm standing here, pissed off, adrenaline pumping quickly though my veins and nobody to beat the shit out of. Maybe coming here wasn't such a good idea. I sit back down and take a short drink from my beer, twisting my hands opposite ways on the bottle as if I was giving it an Indian burn trying to calm down. Katniss makes her way back to my table as there is only me and comb over now.

"Sorry, sometimes they just don't understand the whole 'don't touch' thing." She says obviously embarrassed.

"Does that happen often?"

She shrugs "Not really, well, not to me anyway, but when it does Thresh takes care of it. Do you want another beer?"

I shake my head and try to give her a small smile "No, I just wanted to stop by and see you really."

She gives me an embarrassed smile "So what's the plan for tomorrow?"

"It's a surprise."

"I hate surprises."

"You'll like this one, I promise." She grins and shakes her head at me before going to check on comb over, I leave a $50 on the table, just because I can and go home for the night before someone else touches her and I end up spending tomorrow in jail instead of on a date with Katniss.


	12. Chapter 12

Yay we finally made it to the Everlark 1st date! Are you excited? Yeah actually don't get too excited, I'm almost 30 and have been married for 9 years so modern "dates" aren't really my strong suite! But I'm going to try my best because you guys have been totally awesome with all your read, faves, follows & reviews. Warnings, adult content sexual situations. I thankfully do not own The Hunger Games, I am not the goddess that is Suzanne Collins and could never have come up with such a fabulous story!

By 7:30 Wednesday morning I'm up, showered and starting a filling breakfast of whole wheat blueberry pancakes, sausage and fresh squeezed orange juice with raspberries. I pack a cool bag with sliced summer sausage, smoked sharp cheddar cheese, honey mustard and sweet-hot mustard. I stick the box of crackers on the counter next to the cool bag so I don't forget them, it's at this point I realize I didn't pack and drinks, I'll have to stop and pick something up before we have our dinner picnic. I suppose if we picnic by the lake I can grab a bottle of wine, I set some plastic cups by the crackers, not quite romantic but at least they won't break.

I grab one of the recyclable grocery bags from the cabinet and pack it all in before I finish breakfast, I made enough for Jo and Finn just in case they wake up while we're here. I send Katniss a text one I get everything on the table asking her to come over. I get a text back saying she's on her way back from her Dads' and she'll be here in 5 minutes, which works in my favor giving me enough time to clean up my breakfast mess. As I'm rinsing the last of the dishes she knocks quietly, I assume so as not to wake Johanna. The other side of the door holds the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, she's dressed in a pair of khaki Capri's and a tight emerald green cap sleeve shirt that shows just a sliver of tantalizing skin above her panty line. It takes a conscious effort on my part not to stare at it, I feel 15 all over again, it's like I've never seen a nude woman before. She isn't just any woman though, she's Katniss Everdeen, the girl who always dressed modestly especially after her mother died.

"Hey." She breathes, looking surprisingly nervous for the woman who actually brought this date to my attention years after the fact.

"Hey, I hope you're hungry, I made breakfast." Her face lights up at this, I love it, I've never actually dated a girl who would willingly eat in front of me. It was always so strange, like they really expected me to have a problem with someone who takes care of their health, I never did understand it.

"Starving, what tasty creation to you concoct today Mellark?"

"A very filling breakfast to fuel us until lunch. Do you like blueberries? I guess I should've asked first."

"I like everything, the only 2 things I don't eat for breakfast are lunch and dinner."

I lead her into the kitchen and can hear her smell the air and let out a low "mmm", when she sees the small spread on the table she groans.

"Peeta, this looks so good! If I get your homemade food on every date I may just have to make a daily thing outta this."

"Sounds good to me, I'd like nothing more than to spend my days using you as a test subject." I mean that, in more ways than just a taste testers, but I keep that to myself it seems somewhat crude.

She smiles at me and takes a seat at the round table and I begin to fill her plate, when I pour her juice she asks "Did you really make raspberry orange sunrises with breakfast?!"

"No, I mean I don't think so anyway, what is it?"

"Orange juice, raspberries and sparkling wine."

"Oh, kinda I guess, but these are virgins, no alcohol just the juice." She nods and digs in, I serve myself and watch her in my peripheral as she eats. She chews slowly like she's savoring each bite as though it's her last, she has 3 pancakes and 4 pieces of sausage along with 2 glasses of the virgin sunrises.

"Have you thought about opening your own restaurant, it almost seems selfish to keep a talent like this to yourself." She jokes, I shrug.

"Not really, I kinda always thought I'd eventually inherit the cafe, not that it's likely now. I'm not sure I'd really want to deal with all the management that comes with opening my own place." She nods thoughtfully, "Already sick of me Everdeen trying to pawn me off on the rest of the town already?"

"Absolutely not, you just have a way with food, it's a gift really. It's the kind of thing most people would want to nurture and milk for all it's worth, I know my Dad wishes I had some sort of talent he could nurture, me working at legs kills him, I just don't really have any other options."

"I'm sure that isn't true, you were the valedictorian, I don't really understand why you didn't go to college."

She gives a long sigh and shrugs "Just couldn't make it happen. So what's the plan, are we going to stay here so you can fatten me up until I can't fit out the door?" I guess that is the end of the college conversation.

"No actually, I have planned a very full day for us so we better get on the road soon."

"You really aren't telling me where we're going? Not even a hint?"

"One hint, then you can't ask again. We are going somewhere with water."

"Wow Peeta that really narrows it down." I snicker and grab the bag I packed, I motion for her to follow me and we pile into my car. Our first stop is a little under 2 hours away, it's kinda far but there isn't really much in our town that would cater to an epic first date. We spend the time talking about random stuff, favorite colors and foods, Prim, my brothers, we steer clear of heavy conversation I don't bring up the subject of college or her job and she doesn't bring up my parents. It's almost like we can read each other without even trying, I like it.

When we pull up to the District 11 Gardens she's in awe of the 3 glass pyramids before us, "Peeta, what is this place?"

"It's a combination of things, the blue one is like an aquatic museum, the green one is a rain forest and the red one is an exhibit hall they change every so often, right now it's a larger than life music hall. Ready?"

"Peeta, this looks really expensive, you know I wasn't serious about all that 'worlds greatest date' crap right? I would've been fine with a movie or something simple."

"It's not that expensive, and I already bought the tickets online anyway. Come on, I promised you the worlds greatest date and I intend on giving it to you." The look on her face is like that of a child who has been begging for a toy they don't deserve only to receive it anyway, like she's fighting between excitement and guilt. "Katniss, I want to do this. Please?"

She smiles slightly "Okay."

"So you'll allow it?"

"I'll allow it." I'm grinning as I get out of the car, she gets out before I have a chance to make it to the passenger side to open the door for her. I grab her hand and we walk into the blue pyramid first where the ticket takers are.

The first thing we see is the penguin exhibit, she is completely enamored, who knew Katniss Everdeen liked penguins? Her earlier reluctance is gone by the time we walk into the green pyramid, she becomes absolutely giddy with the monkeys jumping around over head, she almost gets to pet one that perches on the railing of the walkway before an employee tells her the monkeys will become aggressive if touched. Our hands stay firmly clasped until we enter the red pyramid when she lets go to walk on the giant piano keys, she plays a few simple songs with her feet, mary had a little lamb & twinkle twinkle little star. She has smiled more today than I've seen accumulative in all the years I've known her. We finish toying with all the large instruments before board the old paddle wheel boat for a 30 minute ride that comes with admission. Once we find a spot to stand and boat takes off she turns to me with a wistful smile.

"This was amazing Peeta, I've never been anywhere like this before. Thank you." Then she leans in capturing my mouth in what begins as a simple kiss, I move my hand to the back of her neck keeping her close so I can deepen the kiss, my mouth opens along with hers and our tongues tentatively meet somewhere in the middle of bliss and perfection. Her hands make their way to my hips as my other goes to the side of her jaw. I don't know how long we stand there kissing before an old woman walks by muttering something about disgusting teenagers and Katniss pulls back from me turning as red as the raspberries I tasted on her tongue. She looks chastened momentarily before she starts laughing and I join in. It takes us a few minutes and a nasty glare from the old lady for us to catch our breathes.

"I'm sorry, I've just wanted to do that for so long, I couldn't help myself."

"Don't be, that's the best kiss I've ever received. I initiated it anyways. Next time maybe we should wait until we're a little more secluded though, I'm usually not a big PDA type of girl." I smile at this, I'd expect nothing less from Katniss.

I take her to lunch at a gourmet sandwich shop that had many good reviews, she gets the buffalo chicken and I get the french dip. She suggests we swap half so we each get to try both, and again I can't be more thankful to be with a woman who actual enjoys her food, it's a beautiful sight really. When we get in the car I guess she thinks we're done for the day, granted we spent a good 4 hours at the Gardens, but I'm not done yet, I intend on being unforgettable to this woman that has been unforgettable to me my entire life.

"This was really great Peeta, it really was the worlds best date."

"We aren't done yet, we still have 2 more stops." She looks bewildered, it's adorable really.

"Peeta! You're doing too much!"

"You don't even know what it is yet so just hush." I give her a big smile and lean over and attempt to kiss the scowl of her face, she responds eagerly capturing my bottom lip between hers before granting my tongue access to hers, I only kiss her for a minute, I really don't want to have to hide the effect she has on me below the belt. She has no more to say after that so I steer my car to our next destination, a zip line canopy tour of the largest forest in the area.

"Are you kidding me! I've always wanted to do this, what did you do? Give Prim an entire cake for info?"

"No, I just figured a girl like you needed an adventurous date for it to be memorable, I planned this all on my own thank you very much. Come on." I finish with a smug grin, she grins back before jumping out of the car.

"I'm paying for this one, no way I'm going to let you pay for the Gardens and this."

"Too late, bought the tickets online."

"Ugg Peeta, you are the most frustratingly perfect man ever. It drives me crazy."

"Crazy in a good way I hope?" She smiles at me through a scowl, who knew you could scowl and smile at the same time.

"Maybe."

The canopy tour is amazing, I've never seen anything like it, at each stop Katniss kisses me chastely. When we finish the first tour we find out there is a different path of zip lines as well, before I can stop her Katniss purchases the tickets for us to take the alternate path.

"I'm supposed to be taking you out. You're not supposed to be paying for anything."

"I'm a big girl Peeta, I don't need you to pay my way and if you don't let me pay then you had better stop leaving me exorbitant tips." I throw my hands up in defeat, because honestly as long as I get to watch her in those sexy little shorts she wears there is no way I'm going to not leave her big tips.

Between the 2 courses and the small hike we take along the river we spend about 4 hours at the forest. She looks so at home in the woods, almost like they were made just for her, she's energetic and glowing. I'd love to spend the entire day hiking through the woods with her but my un leg is already starting to protest, when she sees me chew up the Advil I'd stuck in my pocket before I left she decides we should head back and I agree, but not before she takes the opportunity to explore my mouth once again while we are alone. It takes all the restraint I have to not take her right here on the forest floor. Alas I can't do that, she pulls away with a smile and entwines our fingers as we make our way back to my car.

I stop at the first liquor store I see and Katniss gives me a questioning look as I tell her I'll be right back. I don't know much about wine so I grab a chilled mid priced red wine and return to the lovely woman in my car.

"Planning on getting me drunk Mellark?"

I laugh and smile at her shaking my head, "No, just needed to pick up something to drink with dinner, I don't know shit about wine so I don't know if it sucks or not to be honest. Sorry if it's not any good."

She picks up the bottle and studies it for a minute "I'm not really a wine drinker so I wouldn't know a good wine from a bad one really, but I'll try anything one." She winks at me and set the bottle back down, the suggestion in her voice along with the memory of her mouth on mine make my dick twitch in my pants. We make it to the lake just as the sun starts setting, I couldn't have planned the timing if I tried but it's definitely a happy coincidence. I grab the wine and bag along with a blanket I'd tossed in my trunk last night. We pick a spot under a tree a few feet from the lake, nobody else is around I suppose Wednesday isn't much of a lake day, it's generally packed on the weekends in the warm months.

"You're favorite color." She muses as we settle on the blanket, I nod as I take out our snack dinner. We settle into a comfortable silence as we watch the sunset with our crackers, sausage and cheese. Turns out she likes spicy so I ended up packing the honey mustard for nothing. I open the wine and pour us each a glass, the moment she takes a drink her nose scrunches in disgust and she turns and spits it out on the grass.

"Uhg, I'm sorry, I can usually eat or drink anything but that is just awful!"

"It can't be that bad." I take a drink and immediately copy her spewing action.

"Oh god that is bad, I'm so sorry." We both crack up laughing, when I regain my composure I toss the bottle into the garbage bin, rinse and fill our cups from a small water fountain by the small restroom shack. We finish eating and wash it down with our water still grinning about the wine disaster.

"So much for wine me, dine me, 69 me huh?"

"I dunno, the wine sucked but the rest sounds pretty good." She smiles and I close the distance and softly press my lips to hers, she tangles her finger through my hair and I place my hand on her waist gently pulling her closer until she's on her knees next to me. As the the kiss becomes more heated I move my hand down the side of her thigh pulling her so she's straddling my legs. She pulls away and takes in a deep breath of air, I take the opportunity to trail kisses down her jaw to the side of her neck, I can taste the slight tang of salt of her slightly sweaty skin, along with a taste that is just uniquely Katniss. My cock is already straining against my pants as I reach her collar bone and nip slightly at the skin there before soothingly sucking at the same spot. She pushes my shoulders down until I'm lying flat on my back as she sits fully on my erection, the contact pulls a moan from each of us, she grinds into me once more before I reach up to the back of her neck pulling her lips back to mine. We meet in a fiery kiss that put all the others to shame, our tongues tangle momentarily before I take her plump bottom lip between my teeth causing her to grind against me again, our moans getting lost inside each other. I move a hand from its resting spot on her hips up to her breast, kneading the soft flesh in my palms, she breaks the kiss an makes a path over my jaw with her lips. I continue to grind into her as I lightly squeeze her pebbled nipple between my thumb and forefinger she moans my name and I swear I've never heard a sexier noise in my life. I reach to the hem of her shirt intending to remove the offensive garment when her phone starts ringing.

"Ignore it."

"I can't." She pulls her mouth away but stays atop me as she riffles through her purse for the fucking phone, I continue to roll my hips against her wishing whoever the fuck it was would just hang up.

"It's Prim, I'm sorry." She gets off my lap as she answers the phone and I adjust myself in my pants.

"Hey Prim!...No actually we were just on our way back...Yeah...Yeah I'll be there soon." Apparently this won't be the night I bury myself inside Katniss Everdeen, the thought is disappointing but I try not to let it show. She hangs up and looks at me apologetically

"I'm sorry, I promised her I was going to come over and help her out with a few things tonight."

"It's alright, we were probably moving a little too fast anyway."

"Please don't be angry, I really had a great time today, I mean it was perfect."

"I'm not angry, worked up but not angry. Not in the least. Did you want me to take you by there on the way home?"

"No, I've got some things in my car I need to take over so we can just head home, if that's ok. I really am sorry Peeta."

"Stop apologizing Katniss, I had a great time too. Would you um, ya know, want to go out again sometime?" She laughs and kisses me sweetly.

"Absolutely."


	13. Chapter 13

Sorry for the long wait, I'm not very happy with this chapter, it's basically a filler, but I need time to go by faster than it has been so we can get to the interesting stuff! Thank you again for your wonderful responses to this story! I'm on tumblr if you'd like to follow me, same name as here. I must warn you though, I suck at tumblr, mine is actually very boring, but you can check out all the writers I follow because they are AWESOME! I don't own anything I'm just playing in Suzanne Collins' garden!

Thursday morning after the date I don't see Katniss outside when I go for my morning jog. I try not to read into it too much, try not to think about how I'm a useless, legless freak she just took pity on, try not to think she has better options, namely Gale fucking Hawthorne. Try as I might, the thoughts cloud my brain and seem to suffocate me. Finnick and Johanna provide a useful distraction for awhile, until they tire of my foul demeanor and go about doing their own things.

So when it comes time for me to go to work I all but jump into my car and haul ass to Abernathys. I spend the day disinfecting everything. The surfaces, cook-tops, oven, heat lamps, vent-a-hoods, cabinets, handles, sinks and floor. Once the sink is done I fill it with bleach and soak the utensils followed by the pots and pans. After it's all been bleached I thoroughly wash all the utensils before going over the floor one more time. I don't consult with Haymitch before I throw out every item of food in the fridge and freezer, alot of it is mold covered, foul smelling or severely out of date, which means the unit needs to be defrosted and bleached as well. The bottom of the freezer is a pink ice cube which I assume is teaming with salmonella, it looks like it is from a leaky bag of chicken. I decide while it thaws it will be a good time to talk to Haymitch about what exactly is on the menu and when the next food delivery will be.

"When does the food get delivered?"

"It doesn't, I always gave Brutus the money to buy local, just stocked up Tuesday."

"Well, you need to do it again, I just tossed it all."

"What the hell did you do that for!? You got any idea how much you just cost me boy? I ain't got money to just piss away here, I'm hardly stayin' afloat already!"

"What the fuck did you expect me to do Haymitch, everything in there was either expired or moldy! Actually the closest thing to fresh in there expired last year!" This gives him pause before his face turns an angry red.

"Mother fucker was pocketing my cash, son of bitch! Shoulda' known there was no way we were going through $1000 in groceries a week when our food sales weren't even half that. Well, shit."

"On the bright side it doesn't look like he took being fired out on your face." He grins.

"Nah, I told him we were being investigated by the health service and as kitchen manager they'd fine him for any failures, never thought a man that size could move so fast. Kitchen up to your standards now?"

"Almost, just waiting for the freezer to thaw then I'll clean it and then we need to restock."

He nods then rifles through a locked fewer in his desk before handing me a small stack of $100's, I assume it's a thousand.

"When you get done stock it up and you can start cookin' tomorrow."

"You have a shopping list?"

"What the fuck do I look like your mother? Hell no I don't have a shopping list, read the menu, get what you need to do your damn job." He continues to mumble about 'holding my hand & what the hell kind of cook doesn't know what's in a needn't while he searches his desk eventually finding a menu then tossing it to me. I take this as a cue to leave, I grab a pen and paper from his desk and return to the kitchen.

The food portion of the menu is short, steak, burgers, chicken strips and hotwings all served with fries. Simple enough. By the time I'm done with my list the freezers ready to be cleaned, after an hour of that nauseating work I'm headed to the grocery store. It takes me maybe an hour to get everything on my list, and far less than the thousand Haymitch gave me. I'm waiting in the check put line when I hear her grating squeal.

"Peter! Oh my God you never called me!"

"Hey Glimmer, sorry about that I've been kinda busy lately, just got a new job." I turn back toward the front hoping to end this conversation before it starts, unfortunately she decides this is an invasion to stand with me.

"Are you having a party or something? That's alot of food!"

"No actually, It's for work."

"Near, so I guess you won't mind getting this for me then would you? You can just use it as a work expense." She sets he falling on low far chocolate ice cream on the counter, effectively cutting in line while requesting I pay for her item. Tactful.

"Sure, I guess." I have no intention of using Abernathys money for it, I'm determined to be everything Brutus wasn't. As soon as the checker scans her ice cream she snatches it up and turns to leave with a small wave, a wink and "See ya Peter."

I breathe a sigh of relief when the automatic door closes behind her and the boy at the register looks at me like I've list my mind. I honestly can't get back to Abernathys quick enough.

After I put everything away I walk into Haymitchs office and give him the receipt and his change.

"You stocked the entire kitchen for $590?" He eyes me dubiously.

"Yeah, well no, there's ten bucks that went toward some ice cream for this crazy chic at the store, but I put it back in from my own pocket. You said business has been crap so I didn't want to go overboard and end up throwing food out again, we'll see how far I get with this and go from there."

"Well, let's see how you do boy, get your ass in there and make me a cheeseburger."

"How do you want it?"

"Well done, with everything."

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The 2 weeks go by and I still don't see Katniss, I try to chalk it up to the fact that my jogs occur about 2 hours later now due to my late nights at the bar, but who am I kidding really? She hasn't called or come by, not even a lousy text.

I don't mention it to Finn or Jo, just seems kind of pointless. Finnick has been over the moon lately, he says Annie has finally succumbed to his charm, he spends most of his evenings with her and I really don't have it in me to bring him down with my shitty luck. And Johanna, well I just don't really feel like dealing with her prickly 'who gives a damn' attitude, so I just keep my sulking inside. It's easier to not feel like such a wuss that way.

The days are beginning to get cooler now as Autumn swiftly approaches. The changes in the leaves bring feelings of apprehension to the coming holidays. It won't be the first that I spend away from my family, but it will be the first that I'm officially banished from my family. It's usually spend at the cafe, Dad, me and my brothers would spend the days cooking a feast and enjoying the mother-less afternoon. It's always enjoyable until the meal is served, mothers snide remarks about dry stuffing and bland turkey never fail to sour the mood. I will miss the time with my Dad and brothers though.

I'm sure I could convince my brothers to have dinner here with me, Jo and Finn, but that seems like a shitty thing to do, sticking them in the middle of all this awkwardness. I'm sure they'd enjoy the day more here with us, but I don't think they harbor the same amount of resentment towards Dad that I do.

All these things are still rattling around my mind when I go into work, luckily I could probably cook this shit blindfolded. The days are still slow, even though the food I do make gets good reviews from the patrons I end up serving (because Clove seems to take a 10 minute break every 10 minutes). I imagine her shitty attitude turns away any new customers we would get. I try to play candy crush on my phone to pass my dead work days, but honestly I can't get past level 32 and I'd rather not smash my phone against the wall, so I just end up stuck in my thoughts most of the time.

"Hey shithead! Order!" Clove yells through the pass-bar, I grind my teeth together so hard I think one of them actually chips. She is the most infuriating person I've ever met. If she were a man I'm pretty sure I would have had to punch her by now. I grab the ticket from the window and am pleasantly surprised to see my first steak order. I get to work cooking it to the perfect medium-well as ordered, I'm pretty proud of it, it plates nicely with a dab of steak butter on top and the loaded mashed potatoes I whipped up when I got here this morning and steamed carrots.

Of course my pride is short lived when I set it on the pass-bar.

"Order up."

"Serve it yourself asshole, I'm on my break." I'm pretty sure break is code for either "I'm taking another shot" or "I'm too drunk to stand up".

I take a deep breath to calm my rage, this bitch is on par with my mother, I hope she never has kids. Luckily though she did manage to write the table number on the ticket at least. It's a corner booth and I can't help but think they must've picked that one specifically to stay away from Clove, lucky bastard. I grab the plate and head out the door watching my steps as I make my way to the back corner so I don't trip over my on foot. I set the plate down and look at the ticket reading it off. When I lift my face to ask if their order is correct and if I can get them anything else I'm met with the same gray eyes that seem to bring me to my knees in frustration (among other things).

"Katniss, hey."

"You really let that bitch talk to you like that?" I can see the fire in her eyes, like mercury coursing through them. I just shrug and try to play it off.

"What am I supposed to do? I don't think punching a woman in the face is my thing. Not that I haven't been tempted, trust me."

"Want me to do it for you? I don't have a problem with punching a woman in the face, in fact it sounds like a perfect dessert at this point." I laugh.

"No, I don't want Haymitch to kick you out on my account. Don't worry about it, it's nothing I haven't heard before." Her eyes soften considerably at that and she drops her face from glaring daggers at Clove to the table. I suppose my family secret isn't as much of a secret as I thought it was. The awkward silence stretches on for a few seconds although it feels like hours.

"So, does everything look alright? Need anything else?"

"Actually I was hoping I could talk to you for a minute, If your not busy I mean." She knows I'm not busy, the only other people here are the regulars that may as well be passed out at the bar

"Uh, sure." She gestures for me to sit across from her in the booth and I do, she's still looking down at her meal like a chastened child.

"I, um, Well, I wanted to apologize, for you know, avoiding you lately, that was a really immature thing for me to do, I just you know. Uggh, I'm sorry I'm no good at this." I raise an eyebrow at her

"No good at? Apologies?"

"Yes, no, explaining myself I guess, I'm no good with words. Look, I like you Peeta, I have for a long time, but things just moved so fast on the date and I guess I just got scared. Relationships aren't exactly a strong point of mine either. I think what scared me the most was how comfortable it all was." She looks me in the eye like shes imploring me to understand her, which I do. Things were moving really fast, I suppose it's a good thing Prim called when she did.

"Things did escalate pretty quickly huh? Well, would you be adverse to maybe trying again, taking things slower this time?"

"That sounds perfect." I smile widely at that.

"So how long is a long time?" She blushes at my teasing.

"Don't you have to get back to work?"

"Nope, I definitely have enough time for you to tell me."

"Longer than I'm willing to admit."

"Me too."

"So you don't mind? Taking it slow then?"

"Absolutely not, are you going to eat that steak before it gets any colder?"

"I am going inhale this steak, you have no idea, my mouth has been watering since you set it down."

"Good, I'll leave you to it then. Can I text you later?"

"I'd like that, although if I here that bitch say anything else to you I might just be calling you to come pick me up from county. Would you do it?"

"Always." She laughs and starts eating, after the 4th bite (and subsequent moan) I have to excuse myself before I end up having to work the rest of my shift at half mast.

I feel like an idiot now, I should've known better than to move so quickly with her, should've known she was skittish, it's not like she has alot of relationship experience. Hell for all I know she may still be a virgin.


	14. Chapter 14

Hi Guys! I've received over 100 followers for this story I'm so freaking excited! You guys are so awesome I don't even know what to say except THANK YOU! Give yourselves a big hug from me because you all just totally kick ass! Unfortunately I still don't own The Hunger Games. I also don't own Little Red Riding Hood by Sam the Sham & The Pharaohs. Or anything else I write about. I own a mazda, that's about it. Drinking in this chapter, adult language, nothing too terrible. I'm still unbetad so mistakes are all me, please forgive me. Most mistakes are the product of typing on my tablet and stupid ducking auto-correct. Yeah you know what I'm talking about!

September flies by in what seems like an instant. I keep my word with Katniss, taking things slow. We've gone on a few more dates, nothing extravagant like the first, just simple things. A movie, dinner, we've played pool at Abernathys a few times while Clove wasn't working. They all end the same a chaste kiss, then I pull away and wish her a goodnight. There's always a look in her eyes that mirrors disappointment when I pull away, but I'm not sure what to do about that. I won't push her away again, if she wants more she'll just have to come after it.

For Johanna October is a big month, she celebrates Halloween like most families celebrate Christmas. The house is decorated top to bottom, front to back, including both the front and back yards. She's even dyed the pool blood red and thrown in some inflatable corpses. At first it all really creeped me the fuck out, I wasn't sure what to make of someone who celebrates Halloween like a religion, so I asked Finn what the hell was wrong with her. He told me that not only is Halloween her birthday, but a dual anniversary of the day she was married to a man who beat the hell out of her, and whom she divorced exactly one year later. After that it didn't seem quite so creepy anymore, hell it almost seemed like art; Johanna self expression. Sorta beautiful in a wicked, crazy bitch way.

Her expression inspired me anyhow, and I was able to finish the recreations of a dozen of my family photos in the first 3 weeks of October, I even managed finish a painting of Finnick and Johanna in their underwear while laughing over breakfast, somewhat of a staple for the two of them. I think of all the crazy Halloween shit I could've gotten her for her birthday, I think she will appreciate this far more. She and Finnick have an almost twin like bond, sometimes I think they must have been separated at birth.

Finnick has a big party planned for Halloween, he asked if I could make Johanna a creepy themed cake as well. I do a little research before I decide in a haunted mansion , she'll love it and it's big enough to feed the 100+ people Finn says will be here. Halloween falls on a Thursday this year so I'll probably be at work since I am unaware of Haymitchs holiday schedule.

I see Glimmer again when I go after the things I need for the cake, she cons me out of another ten bucks for a frozen fat free pie, I have to bite the insides of my lips to keep from puking. I learn that she somehow ended up on the Halloween party guest list, now instead of hoping for the day off I think I might actually offer to work for free, with Clove, especially since Katniss won't be attending. Apparently she always spends Halloween with Prim, it's almost strange, we've been seeing each other for almost 2 months now, we've hung out with Annie, Finn, Johanna, even her Father once when we went fishing, but never Prim. Other than the one time in the cafe, I haven't seen her since my return. It's strange because when she's with me she's constantly talking about Prim, and when she's not with me she spends alot of her time with Prim, but we've never taken Prim with us on any of our outings.

I get the cake done the night before the party, 4 tiers of red velvet creepiness shaped into a castle and decorated like you imagine Dracula's castle. Finnick is speechless for a few minutes while he takes it all in. I had offered to make the food as well but he said he already had pizza set up, so I made a few snack trays of carrots and other vegi's and decorated the platters with them to look like jack-o-lanterns.

"Jeez Peet, when I asked you to make her a cake I just meant something small just for her, you didn't have to go all out dude! This fucker will feed the whole party, twice!"

"I thought that's what you wanted? how can you have a cake at a party and not have enough for everyone, that's just weird, man."

"Fuck em, I bought the beer and pizza. They want something sweet they can go trick or treating. Johanna is going to go nuts for this, you have no idea."

"I hope so, I've worked on the damn thing all day, on top of trying to keep her nosy ass out of the kitchen, I should get an award just for that."

"Really Peet, I can't thank you enough, Jo is my best friend, you have no idea what this is going to mean to her."

"Don't worry about it, I'm going to mix up some zombie punch before I head into work tomorrow."

"Sucks you gotta work after doing all this, why don't you just call Haymitch and tell him your sick? Tell him you ate to much candy!"

"Yeah I don't think that's going to work, you know since I'm not 12 anymore..." He shrugs

"Worth a shot!"

"Whatever, just make sure you keep Johanna out of here until you're ready to unveil it alright?"

"Aye aye captain."

The next morning I make Johanna a breakfast of pumpkin pancakes and a spiced pumpkin latte from a recipe I found online. I know it seems a bit much considering we're only roommates but she was there for me my first night here and her crass attitude has grown on me, she reminds me alot of my brothers. That and I want her day to be nice, after the hell she's gone through she deserves it. Finnick told me that her entire family was killed in a house fire a week after she left for college, in her depressed and vulnerable state she ended up marrying the douche bag that beat the hell out of her, the only birthday present the asshole gave her was a shitty marriage, then later the divorce. I have Finn take it to her in her room to keep her out of the kitchen, once I finish cleaning up and mixing up the zombie punch I find her in the living room dressed like a damn warrior princess. She even has real axes strapped to her back. Maybe the zombie punch wasn't such a great idea, if someone pisses her off tonight she's liable to decapitate them. I wrapped the painting last night and set it on the coffee table for her, I'm kinda nervous about it now that she's going to see it.

"Bread boy, that was the best fucking birthday breakfast I've ever had! Katniss better be careful, I might just have to steal you away."

"I don't really know if it would be stealing, I'm not sure she really considers me hers."

"Ptff, you're hers alright, at least the way she talks about wanting to mutilate Clove would lead one to assume you were hers. Is this for me?"

"Yeah, happy birthday, hope you like it."

She tears into the gift, then stares at it for what seems like an eternity before she starts laughing so hard tears are rolling down her face.

"Oh my god, this is awesome, it's almost perfect."

"Almost?"

"Yeah, it's missing you, you're part of this little dysfunctional family now, you should've painted you in it too. Not to mention I would love to tell Katniss I have a painting of you in your underwear, she's so much fun when she's mad."

"Well, I'll remember that next time, do you like it though?" She gains her composure and looks at me with what seems to be genuine seriousness.

"I love it Peeta, it's one of the best gifts I've ever gotten. Thank you."

"You're very welcome, now do me a favor and stay the fuck out of the kitchen until Finnick tells you otherwise please."

"Mmm, so sexy when you're demanding!"

"Yeah yeah, so what's your plans for the afternoon?"

"I'm going to fish the floating corpses from the pool so I don't have to worry about if they are real or fake once everyone gets shitfaced tonight, then Finn is taking me to pick out some new Halloween decorations before the party."

"More? How can there be anything Halloween you don't already have?"

"Oh trust me, there is a Halloween Central in the city and they put my collection to shame."

"I don't see how that's possible, but have fun, sorry I won't be here tonight get drunk for me would ya?"

"Absolutely, and really, thank you Peeta, for everything."

I go for my jog after Johanna leaves to go find a spot for her painting, my leg hasn't been bothering me quite so much lately, which I'm so grateful for. On my way back I get the first text from my Father since I was kicked to the curb, literally. He sent it to me and my brothers, asking us all to meet him at the bakery on Sunday. I text him back telling him he must've made a mistake in sending the text to me, he replies with "no, it wasn't a mistake, I need to speak with all 3 of you, please be here at 8pm". I don't respond, I'm not really sure what to say to him, I don't have work but I could always lie and say I do, but the curious part is eating away at me wondering what he would need to talk to all of us about. I wonder if maybe he's sick, but quickly strike the though from my mind, as much resentment as I have toward him I don't want him sick, I don't want him to die. I tell myself he must just want to talk about Thanksgiving, I keep repeating it in my head, just so my brain won't drift to darker places where he's not well.

When I get back Finn & Jo are already gone, I take a shower and call Phoenix, he assures me Dad is fine and agrees it's probably just going to be Thanksgiving talk, I feel a little better after that. I kill the next few hours with laundry and drawing, I text Katniss a few times but she's busy helping Prim with costumes. I lock my bedroom door before I head to work, I really don't want to come home to cum stained blankets when I haven't even broken my bed in yet.

I guess my first clue that I'm not working today should be the fact the regulars aren't planted at the bar and Clove isn't here, but I go in the back and fire up the grill anyway. Ten minutes later a bleary eyed, obviously drunk Haymitch storms through the kitchen door.

"What the hell you doin' here boy? Thought Finnick was havin' that big bash tonight."

"Uhh, he is, but you never said anything about having the day off, so... I came to work?"

"Ain't no business when Odair throws a party, why would they come here and pay to drink when he's handing it out free? Get the hell outta here." With that he turns and leaves, I shut down the grill and make my way out.

I text Katniss letting her know, she says she'll try to stop by after she takes Prim trick or treating. Which again strikes me as odd, when I was 16 I was out with friends for Halloween not trick or treating with my brothers. Maybe it's a compromise, since their Dad is so strict. I wonder had Katniss' Mom not been killed by a drunk driver when she was 12, would he still be so strict with them. Katniss hasn't spoken of it to me, but the news of it spread around fast when it happened, she was a well respected doctor.

Finnick and Johanna are decorating the very few un-decorated places in the house when I get back, neither look surprised that Haymitch sent me home and they put me to work cob-webbing the corners and setting out stupid amounts of candy bowls. Finnick has covered both the kitchen entrances and the bedroom doors with caution keep out tape. He has tables in the back yard set up with plates and napkins, I suppose that's where he intends on serving everyone until we unveil the cake. Their must be 20 ice chests around the house all full of beer, and a couple labeled DD's full of water and sodas. It makes me wonder how often he throws parties of this size to warrant owning so many ice chests. Johanna refuses to let me be coated free, and selects wolf ears and a snout from her extensive collection.

People start rolling in just as the sun goes down, Johanna greets each one with "Got a designated driver?" If they say yes the dd is awarded an orange and black boa, if they say no she locks their keys in a small safe by the door in which the key for is hung around her neck. It doesn't take long for the house to start getting full, the pizza arrives about the same time the trick or treaters start knocking. I keep expecting to see Katniss and Prim but never do, at least not while I'm Manning the door. I pass the door duty off to Finnick when I spy Glimmer making her way up the street and go to the kitchen to get the zombie punch and vegi trays. I manage to avoid her for a good hour while I play some drinking game with Johanna I obviously don't understand, since I pretty well drunk in said hour. Or maybe I do understand because Jo is pretty drunk too, I suppose that's the point of a drinking game.

It's decided (by who I'm not sure) that we should do cake before the birthday girl gets too wasted to remember. When she sees it she screams and plants a big slobbery kiss on my cheek, cracking up when I reach up to wipe it off. She thanks me profusely and takes a dozen pictures of it from every angle, quite a few party goers come up to tell me it's bad-ass, including Glimmer. After that it's like I can't shake her loose, even when I try to ditch her by hoarding the bathroom for 15 minutes. It's like she stood there waiting on me to emerge, she quickly sidles up to me looping her arm through my own and starts chattering away about some nonsense I'm to drunk to focus on. I grab another glass of zombie punch if for no other reason than to disentangle myself from her and find an empty patio sofa to sit at. I had hoped walking away from Glimmer and leaving her at the snack table would give her the hint to get lost, but no such luck. She sits so close to me she's damn near in my lap, the smell of her sickly sweet perfume is gagging me and I can't concentrate on a single fucking thing she says. Not that I really want to, you would think the fact that I haven't responded to a single thing she's said in the past half hour would be another hint at my disinterest, but this bitch just can't take a hint.

The music takes a strange twist from the modern alternative that's been playing all night to the classic Little Red Riding Hood by Sam The Sham & The Pharaohs, I briefly contemplate the switch before I feel Glimmers lips at my ear as she whispers "I'd like to see your bedroom." I whip my face toward her and give her what I hope is a 'what the hell is wrong with you" face just as I hear Katniss' voice from behind us.

"Am I interrupting something?" I can hear the rage in her voice and quickly stand up almost knocking Glimmer to the ground.

"No! No, I was just.. I-I was just sitting here, and she sat down next to me." Her face tells me she doesn't believe a word of what I said and I'm not quite sure how to fix it in my inebriated state. All I can focus on is how long her legs look in her Little Red Riding Hood costume and the music change suddenly makes sense, as the song goes she sure is looking good. Very good.

Glimmers nasally voice breaks me out of my ogling "What's it to you Everdeen? Aren't you still waiting for Hawthorne to come back and play Daddy? Or did you give up on that?" Wow, this just got weird fast.

"That's none of your fucking business you nosy little twat, why don't you go back inside and find yourself another Cato replacement that isn't my boyfriend."

"And if I don't?"

"Then I'll just have to fix that half assed nose job for you." She stalks toward Glimmer as she says it, Glimmers eyes turn wide and she quickly makes her way back into the house.

"What the hell Peeta!?"

"What?! I've been trying to get rid of her for almost an hour!"

"Yeah I saw how hard you were trying, letting her neck you!"

"I was not letting her neck me, she's been talking non stop and I haven't heard a single word she's said until she asked to see me room! And I was just fixing to tell her she was barking up the wrong tree when you walked up!"

"Sure you were, Peeta. You looked awfully fucking cozy sitting there with her."

"I'm fucking drunk Katniss! I've just been waiting for you, all night, I don't want anything to do with her, I just don't know how to get rid of her!"

"Tell her to fuck off!"

"What did she mean, about Hawthorne coming back to play daddy?" Ahh we have a winner, she loses her bravado with this question and suddenly looks worried.

"I don't want to talk to you about while your drunk."

"Well, there have been plenty of other opportunities to talk when I wasn't drunk, yet this is the first I've heard about it. What was she talking about? I asked you about Hawthorne the first day I was back Katniss, what the hell is going on? Am I just a play toy while he's off at school or something?"

"No, Peeta, it isn't like that, you're my boyfriend I thought you knew that."

"Then what's it like Katniss? Hell I didn't even know you thought of me as your boyfriend until a moment ago. Everything with you is like a mystery! I don't even know where I stand with you most of the time! I asked specifically about Hawthorne didn't I? Didn't I Katniss?!"

"We have daughter! And he left, that's it. I'm not waiting for him, he's not coming back, he doesn't care. It's just me and Heidi, there is no Gale." Well that's not what I was expecting at all, I'm speechless for a minute as I process it, Katniss looks like she's been exposed, vulnerable.

"You have a daughter and you didn't tell me?" She shrugs, like it's no big deal, I mean it's not a problem but it is a big deal. How can you date someone for 2 months and not tell them you're a parent.

"It's not right to just bring people into her life if I'm not sure they intend on sticking around, hell even her own Father took off."

"I wasn't asking for introductions, but a heads up would've been nice. You're right though, I am too drunk to talk about all this, I'm going to bed. Call me tomorrow if you want to act like an adult and be honest." Probably a bad choice of words but I've never been known for being a tactful drunk, if anything my silver tongue completely disappears when I'm drinking. I'm sure I'll regret it tomorrow but I can't do anything about it tonight, so I go to my room locking the door behind me and fall into bed.

A/N: Please don't drink and drive! It's so dangerous, not only for yourself but many innocent bystanders. Call a cab, a friend, boy/girlfriend, an ex, your mom, dad, sister, brother. There is always someone who can pick you up, they may bitch about it now but it's alot better than the tremendous guilt you and they would feel if you hurt or killed someone by driving drunk. Safe Fun!


	15. Chapter 15

I'm very sorry for the wait guys. I have no excuse I just couldn't seem to get past the text part, I don't text much so it was just awkward. The next chapter may be a bit of a wait as well, It's got alot going on so I have to figure out how to get it all to work together! As always I own nothing, The Hunger Games belongs to the fabulous Suzanne Collins. Warnings: Explicit and Degrading Language. Thanks for all the reviews, faves & follows, you guys are awesome. Un-beta-ed so the mistakes belong to yours truly.

The next morning arrives bearing a throbbing headache and churning stomached. I lie in bed with my eyes closed for few minutes trying to rid myself of the awful sensations before my foggy brain recalls the disaster that was last night. Guilt and shame start rating through me instantly and I groan at my own stupidity, which does nothing to quell the throbbing in my head. I have no idea how to fix this, last night I was nothing short of an immature dickhead. I would almost laugh at the fact I told her to give me a call when she wanted to act like an adult if I didn't hate myself for it so fucking much.

My headache does nothing to help me find a solution so I clumsily pull myself out of bed, regretting the fact I didn't remove my prosthetic last night. I amble to the bathroom and take 4 Advil before stripping and taking a shower. I'm still queasy when I get out of the shower, but I've learned over the years the best hangover remedy lies not in my medicine cabinet but in the kitchen. Lots of water and orange juice, there's nothing better. I grab my phone from my Jeans pocket before heading out my door.

The sight that greets me is a mass of passed out party goers on practically every available surface. 5 people passed out on each other on the couch 4 on the sofa, and a shipload more have passed out on the floor. Some were smart enough to bring in pool mats to lay on, others look as though they just passed out mid party and stayed there star fish style mid floor. There are cups and cans everywhere plates still holding cake or pizza, a guy actually using a pizza box as a pillow. It's an utter mess, I don't look forward to Finnick waking up in the least.

I spend 30 minutes rehydrating myself before even glancing at my phone on the table, surprisingly enough it's only 9:30, although it feels well past noon. I spend 10 minutes typing, deleting and trying a text to Katniss, I know, texting is the cowards way out, but I'm pretty sure my mouth has done enough damage already. I'm also not find of the idea that she may scream at me bring my headache back ten fold.

Me 9:41: I am so utterly sorry for everything I said last night. I was the worlds biggest prick and I didn't mean any of it. I'm so sorry.

Katniss 9:45: Yeah you were a fucking prick alright.

Me 9:46: I'm so so sorry Katniss, I was drunk and for some reason when I'm drunk I start spewing all kinds of stupid shit.

Katniss 9:48: Oh that's a rich excuse. Honestly it just pisses me off even more.

Me 9:50: Ok, well I'm still sorry, I am highly ashamed of the way I treated you last night. Tell me how I can make it up to you.

Katniss 9:52: Which part exactly are you sorry for? Having Glimmer all over you like an ankle biter in heat? Yelling at me in front of half the town? Or the fucked up bullshit you said?

Katniss 9:53: Because you have alot to be sorry for Peeta.

Me 9:55: All of it, except the Glimmer part, because that didn't happen. I spent all night trying to ditch her.

Me 9:56: And it's not like it's entirely my fault, maybe I wouldn't have gotten so mad if I hadn't been blind sided.

Katniss 9:58: What the hell is that supposed to mean? Are you trying to say it's my fault?

Me 9:59: NO! But maybe if you had told me you had a child instead of hearing it from that skank I wouldn't have gotten so angry.

Katniss 10:01: Well excuse me for not running my little girl through the ringer. I don't know what you expect, I'm not just going to introduce her to some guy I've only been seeing a few months.

Me 10:03: I wasn't asking for an introduction, just a heads up would have been nice.

Katniss 10:06: Heads up, I have a daughter. Now if you don't mind, being in a shitty mood the few hours I'll get with her today doesn't sound appealing so we'll have to take later.

Finnick walks in and slumps into a chair, head falling to the table as I type out an "ok" to Katniss. He groans and before I even get a chance to look up he tells me "I fucked up Peeta, I fucked up bad."

"Did you know Katniss had a kid?"

"'course, didn't you?"

"No, I didn't, why didn't you tell me?"

He lifts his head and shrugs "Figured you knew." His eyes are bloodshot and his face is drawn in a way I don't think I've ever seen.

"What the hells wrong with you? You look like you didn't sleep at all, why are you even up already?"

"Well, apparently I didn't, rolled over a few minutes ago and got of face full of bleach blonde hair doused in hairspray."

"Please tell me it was Annie in a wig." He shakes his head solemnly dropping his head into his hands, elbows propped on the table.

"What the hell Finn!? You spend ages trying to get her to notice you and when she finally does you fuck some blonde bimbo!?"

"I know! Fuck, I know, alright. I don't even remember half of last night, let alone screwing, well, whoever she is."

"Are you sure you even did? I mean maybe she just crashes in your bed and you didn't notice?"

"No, we fucked, woke up naked, she was naked, I could smell the tuna wafting up from my dick."

"That's fucking gross dude."

"Your telling me! You didn't wake up with dick rot so I don't even want to hear your shit. Either give me some advice or shit the fuck up." The silence starts wearing after a moment so I say the only thing a can think of in my shitty mood.

"Better go get tested." It earns me a withering glare that I return with a shrug.

"Thanks fuckface, like I didn't know that. Advice about Annie you dickhead! What the hell do I tell her?"

"How the fuck should I know Finn, I don't even know how to fix my own fuck ups how am I supposed to help with yours?"

As he opens his mouth to reply Glimmer steps in the kitchen, wrapped in a sheet with serious JBF hair. She looks at Finnick and sticks her bottom lip out in a pout.

"Finny, why'd you leave? I missed you! Come back to bed." I can feel my jaw fall open, of all people he fucked Glimmer, this is just great, now she's going to walk out of our house having obviously spent the night screwing someone, and with my luck I'm sure Katniss will see her. Great. Just fucking great.

"Uhhm, yeah actually I've got some shit to take care of this morning, I was just fixing to wake the party up and kick 'em out. So you know if you wanna miss the herd you might want to head on out."

"Aww, I was hoping we could have a repeat performance." Again with the pout.

"Yeah, look, that's just not going to happen.I don't even remember last night. It was a mistake." The sound of her hand connecting with Finnicks face is astonishingly loud.

"Fuck you Finnick!" With that she turns on her heel and returns to Finnicks room I assume, I grab a bag of pizza roll from the freezer and hand to him. He thanks me as he applies it to his reddening cheek.

"Well, this is the worst morning I've had since I moved in here, I think I'm gonna head back to bed, you might want to make sure crazy ass isn't in there shredding your clothes to pieces."

When I wake up later I still have no new texts from Katniss, hopefully that means she didn't see Glimmer leaving the house this morning. Or she did and she hates me so much she doesn't even want to speak to me long enough to tell me I'm an even bigger piece of shit than she thought. I consider texting her again and asking when a good time to finish our discussion would be but resist, I don't want to put a damper on her kid time. Actually she's probably getting ready for work by now, like I should be doing.

The idea of going to work today makes me want to stab myself in the ear with an ice-pick. I don't think I can handle much more bullshit today, it was already bad enough before I even woke up. I consider calling in but it seems like an asshole move for a Friday, so I suck it up and get dressed, take a few more pain relievers and brush my teeth before exiting my room again. It's a much different scene than when I walked out earlier, it's almost clean, the people are gone and Johanna is in the process of Lysol-ing away the pizza/vomit spots from the surfaces.

"Where's Finnick?"

"Took his parents boat out, said he needed some time away from everyone. I guess fucking the biggest slut in the county can fuck with your mind."

"You don't have to work tonight?"

"Nah, requested the day off a month ago."

"Smart, wish I'd done that." She laughs and turns back to her cleaning.

My shift starts out monotonous enough, I can still feel a slight headache at my temple along with the dull ache of my un-leg, I imagine the headache is more to do with stress than a linger hangover. We are busier tonight than we have been the rest of the time I've worked here, orders are coming in back to back by 8:00. By 9:30 Clove has already taken 9 breaks and I end up with customers coming straight up to the pass-bar to place orders, running the food back and forth is quickly transforming the dull ache in my un-leg to a full on pain causing me to limp embarrassingly. Complaints about the customer service are making the slight headache a fucking migraine, which isn't alleviated with their apologies when I deliver their meals, ("sorry, I wasn't trying to be rude, but seriously you guys need to fire that bartender."). By the time 10:00 rolls around I've got a kitchen full of orders and my nerves are so on edge I can swear I feel them bursting from my skin, so when I set a plate on the pass-bar for Clove to deliver and she slurs at me "'m'on break shitbag." I totally loose my shit.

"Get Off Your Lazy Ass And Do Your Fucking Job You Cheap Whore!" The entire bar goes silent for a moment, I can hear my heart beating in my ears and my fists clench so hard I swear I'm going to break my fingers. At first I think she's so drunk she doesn't hear me but I suppose it just took a second for the alcohol to let it through to her pickled brain. Her face turns so red I wonder if she's holding her breath until she starts screaming at me.

"You Can't Talk To Me Like That You Crippled Son Of A Bitch! Who The Fuck Do You Think You Are!?" Then she starts throwing shit, cups shatter on the wall around the pass-bar and a bottle of tequila makes it in the kitchen before smashing. It's almost as though the wasted liquor draws Haymitch's attention, seems like when the bottle crashes in the kitchen he's on the spot.

"You, outta my fuckin' bar!"

"What? He started it! That pussy called me a cheap whore!"

"Don't give a shit what you call each other, you just wasted a $30 bottle, plus whatever else you've been pilfering since you started here! Get the fuck out."

"Fine! Good luck finding someone else to work in this run-down shit hole you drunk old bastard!" She snatches her purse from under the bar and storms out. I almost smile before Haymitch turns on me.

"And you, clean this fuckin mess up and you owe me a new bartender!"

"Where the hell am I supposed to find you a bartender?"

"I dunno, but you better figure it out, come Tuesday I better have one. I can handle tonight and tomorrow, but I swear Mellark you better have one by the time you come back after or I'm shuttin the doors and settin' this shit on fire."

I can't however help the smile from forming when I hear quite a few regulars tell Haymitch "bout time you got rid of that bitch." as I clean up the shards of glass.


	16. Chapter 16

Thank you to all you wonderful people who fave/follow/review/read, you guys are the shit! Ok I tried to heed your warnings about Peeta not groveling, I hope I did ok. This is a very heavy chapter folks, lots of info here, there was going to be another scene but I'm tired and wanted to get this up for all of you. Please don't leave me hate mail/reviews, if you don't like my story that's fine! But don't be rude, it's just as easy to go find another story to read. I own nothing, no beta so mistakes are all my fault. PLEASE READ THE WARNINGS!

WARNING: Violence, Minor Character Deaths, Child Abuse, Child deaths, Neglect. I'm serious this is a heavy chapter, read at your own risk.

The following morning I ask Johanna if she would be interested in filling Cloves newly vacated position, she turned me down saying she could make loads more showing skin than she could filling drinks. She also told me Katniss is a pretty decent bartender.

"She may not know all those hoity toity drink mixes, but she's got the basics down pat, and she's a quick learner. But I'm sure you already knew that right bread boy?" She ends with a highly suggestive wink."

"That would be fucking great, if she were actually speaking to me."

"Oh God, she pissed at you too? What the hell is wrong with the men in this house? Do you and Finn just live to create problems or what? What did you do, take spin with Glimmer before she bedded Finnick."

"No! Fuck no, I was drunk, but not that drunk. Glimmer was sitting too close to me for Katniss' comfort apparently and then she just kinda flipped the fuck out." I go on to explain the rest of the events from Halloween night and Jo does a horrible job of trying not to laugh.

"Fuck, I'm not sure who's more brainless, you or her. I can't believe you didn't know about Heidi, brainless was the talk of the town forever because of that nice and toxic situation with Gale."

"Yeah, well, nobody told me."

"I guess it's kinda fucked up she never mentioned it, but I can't really hold it against her, she's fiercely protective of those she loves and she loves that girl like lungs love air. And after everything with Gale I suppose she's just afraid of someone treating that baby like she isn't worth their time."

"What the hell happened with that?" She levels me with a stern glare before responding.

"I swear to Venus, Peet, If you even insinuate that I was the one that's telling you about it, I'll chop of your fucking balls and feed them to you. And If you use one single word of what I'm about to tell you to get her I will serve your dick as the side dish, understood?" I'm sure my eyes have widened to a comical size, I wasn't aware that Johanna was so protective over her.

"Understood."

"Good, alright I guess we start at the beginning shall we? Gale and Katniss start messing around his senior year, apparently they stayed connected after he went to college her senior year, her Daddy was not too fond of Gale, or I guess any of the male gender when it came to his daughters so it all stayed very hush hush until her graduation. By then she was already 18 and tall, dark and deadbeat came home for the summer, and of course he knocked her up almost immediately. She found out about a week before he was due to head back to California for college and she was supposed to attend college here. When she told him he used the classic 'it's not mine' and left. So instead of college she found the job at Legs and used her college money her Mama's life insurance paid for to start a life for her and little bit. Her Daddy was furious, wanted to go up there and wipe Gale off the map. But naive Katniss talked him out of it, thinking once the baby got here he'd fall in love like good Daddy's do with their babies. Unfortunately it didn't quite work out that way, when she sent him the first sonogram photo he didn't call or send a text or email, nothing, when she sent the second one a few months later he sent her an email saying it wasn't his and she needed to stop sending him shit. When she sent the last one she had a very informative conversation with his girlfriend of 2 years Madge. So when Heidi was born she didn't even bother with Gale, she took the baby to see Hazelle, Gales' mom, the woman cried for an hour, saying the baby had his ears and his long toes and the same birthmark on the back of her hand. She took a few photos and sent them to her son I suppose trying to get him to just meet his daughter. So a few weeks later Hazelle calls Katniss and tells her that Gale will come see the baby if she signs away all rights to child support, so she did. Poor dumb girl just wanted her baby to have her Daddy. And well that was 18 months ago, still hasn't seen her, won't even come home for the holidays anymore. Hazelle, of course, tries her best to make up for what her sons doing, but brainless is impossible when she thinks she getting charity. She lets Hazelle babysit once a week though, and visit whenever she wants. Bastards never sent a thing for that baby, not a birthday card, Christmas present, nothing."

"That's fucked up, but it still doesn't explain why she didn't tell me about her."

"Hell, I don't know what goes on in that girls mind! Maybe she thought you already knew, I sure as fuck did."

"I dunno, will you ask her about the bartending position?"

"Fuck no, do I look like you damn peace keeper? You got issues with brainless you gotta sort 'em out yourself, I'm not playing middle man."

"Uhhhg, thanks Jo...really... So what happened with Finnick and Annie?"

"Ha, the dumb-ass told her everything. I told him not to, he's just gonna keep fucking her around and have no chance but he didn't listen."

"I think it's good he told her."

"You would lover boy. And now she won't even look at him."

"Hmm, so what's he off doing today?"

"Dunno, he mumbled something about a grand gesture and ran out the door, so there's really no telling."

She wasn't kidding, Finnick came home sporting a tattoo of Annies' name that went from one side of his chest clear to the other. It was absolutely absurd.

"What if she still says no? Are you going to spend the rest of your days searching for another Annie? Are you high?"

"No I'm not high, and if she says no, I'll just have to do something even bigger."

"How on earth could you do something bigger than permanently marking yourself with her name?" He grins wickedly.

"Trust me, I can think of many things Peeta."

"I think you've finally lost your mind Finn. Did you go get tested yet?"

"I have an appointment in the morning. So, what's for dinner?"

"Gonna have to fend for yourself tonight Finn, I've got to go see my Dad pretty soon. I need to go talk to Katniss first though."

"Pizza it is then!"

With that he walks into the kitchen and I head over to Katniss' house, after a moment of trying to get out of my own head long enough to appear confident I ring the doorbell. She answers fairly quickly and I can see 2 tiny little hands grasping at her leg from behind. I avert my gaze as to not make Katniss uncomfortable, it's quite obvious she isn't ready for me to know her so I suck it up and look in her eyes. She has an eyebrow raised and her lips pressed into a firm line, it'd be intimidating if I wasn't still kinda pissed at her.

"Hey."

"Hi."

"So uh, I know we still haven't quite come to terms with everything that happened at the party, and it doesn't look like it's a good time to continue that conversation, but there's a job opening I was sort of hoping you could fill for me. I asked Johanna and she's not interested but she told me you might be."

"I'm listening."

"Well, Clove got fired, and it was mostly my fault so..."

"Ha, I don't see how her being a bit- a um very unkind person could be your fault."

"I said mostly, but anyways, Haymitch tasked me with finding a new bartender. Nothing fancy really, draft beers, shots, and the like."

"That's sounds good, what's it pay and what are the hours."

"Hours are same as mine, I'm not sure what Clove was making, but if your interested go talk to Haymitch Tuesday."

"I don't know, Haymitch hates me."

"Only sometimes. When he's sober I've never heard him say a negative thing about you. You are his favorite."

"He's never sober!"

"That's right, who am I thinking of? Oh, I know it's your Dad. But that's only because you didn't try to run when he shot an apple of your head. On the other hand, Haymitch . . . well, if I were you, I'd avoid Haymitch completely. He hates you, but he is desperate for a bartender so if you just get in do the interview and stay away from him you should be good." This brings a ghost of a smile to her lips.

"I thought you said I was his favorite," I say.

"He hates me more, I don't think people in general are his sort of thing."

"Alright, I might do that. Are you going to be a jerk to me if I get the job?"

"No, I wasn't even trying to be a jerk the other night, I just thought it was kinda messed up that you didn't even tell me. I understand not wanting me to get to know her right off, I just don't get why it had to be some big secret."

"I just thought it'd be better if I got to know you first, before letting you into that part of my world."

"We've known each other since Kindergarten."

"Yeah, but until you came back, different I might add, we'd hardly spoken." I let out a heavy sigh, it seems like I'm always at a damn impasse with this woman. Just then the tiny tot starts gibbering and blowing raspberries on the back of Katniss' leg.

"Can we talk later Peeta? I've got to start dinner before she gnaws off my leg."

"Of course, will you go talk to Haymitch."

"Yeah I'll talk to him."

"Thank you, see you later then."

"Goodnight Peeta."

My brothers are already at the cafe when I arrive, munching on some of the leftover pastries that won't refrigerate well. They stand and greet me with a hug and we all settle back to the 4 top table with Dad. He's got a manila folder sitting on the table in front of him and bags under his eyes from an obvious lack of sleep. My fears of him being ill return with a vengeance and I hope against hope he'll just spit it out so we can figure out how to fix it.

"Well, I suppose there's no reason to beat around the bush the doctors have been doing alot of tests and the diagnosis isn't good." His face is drawn and solemn and my heart is breaking, I'm not ready to lose my Dad, I don't think you can ever be ready.

"Your mother has advanced Liver Disease, we've been trying all the treatments the Doctors recommended, but we've still managed to end up at the worst case scenario. Her liver is failing, and she needs a transplant. Soon."

Phoenix is the first to regain his speech function and starts peppering Dad with questions.

"Is she on the transplant list?"

"No, they won't put her on the list until she gets her drinking under control."

"And when does she plan on doing that?"

"She can't, her PCP told her she'd die if she quit drinking."

"I don't believe that."

"It's true, I was actually there for that conversation."

They go back and forth like this for about 2 minutes before Pacer speaks up.

"So, she's dying in other words. That's what your trying to tell us?"

"Well, not necessarily, you see there is a way we can bypass the list all together."

"Dad, I really don't think the black market is a feasible option."

"No, no, nothing like that, it's perfectly legal. All she would need is a live donor willing to give half their liver. The wonderful thing about an operation like this is that the donors liver will actually be back to it's original size in just a few short weeks, so you really wouldn't even be losing anything!"

"Me?" The way Pacers voice pitches considerably tells me he has no interest in being mothers body farm.

"Well, there is a high chance that any of the three of you could be a match. I was tested the other day, unfortunately I wasn't a match. But since all three of you share her DNA, there's a high probability one of you will be a match." He continues to prattle on about blood types and who to set the appointment with while giving us each a few pamphlets from the manila folder. I'm not sure why I say it really, I could just as easily keep my mouth shut and then just say I'm not a match later, but it comes out anyway.

"You really expect us to undergo risky surgery for a drunk who made us regret every second of our lives?"

"C'mon Peet, she wasn't always so bad." Hearing those words from Phoenix on any other day wouldn't be so bad but today they just piss me off. However I don't get a chance to say anything as Pacers' retort comes first.

"Easy for you to say, you happen to be the only one of us that can say that, as for Peeta and me she's never been anything but a twisted fucking nightmare."

"Fuck you Pacer, she fucked me up too, many times if you've forgotten. I suppose you've conveniently forgotten the time she caught US looking at that porn magazine that YOU brought home and scrubbed MY eyes with soap. Yeah, so she was fucked up, but she's still our mother how can you just turn your back on her. There was a time when she was normal, I guess your just too young to remember it."

"Do what the fuck you want, I'm not doing it."

"You're a selfish little prick you know that!"

"ENOUGH!" My Dads voice booms through the air echoing in the empty cafe, "I know she was hard on you boys and I know I didn't help, but there are reason for her being how she is." Same shit he's always says, I suppose it couldn't hurt to find out what those reasons are now.

"You've been saying that for as long as I can remember, but you never say what they are, if you want to start asking us for body parts why don't you start with these reasons you keep referring too. Better be pretty damn good too, at this point I'm with Pacer, there's no way in hell I'm even considering." I almost feel bad asking after seeing the way he deflates and drops his head into his hands, supported on the table by his elbows.

"Well, I guess at this point it couldn't really hurt." He says very quietly after a minute, "Your mother wanted a little girl so badly, when Phoenix was born everything was fine, she loved you so much son, but she still wanted her baby girl. She got pregnant again about 6 months after you were born, 9 months later little Penelope joined our family, your mother was so happy, it felt like our little family was complete, we had everything we wanted and so soon after marrying, it was a blissful few weeks. This all happened during our transition from bakery to cafe and money was tight, Phoenix was still sleeping in the cradle and we hadn't the money to buy another so little Penelope slept between your mother and me. I was working long shifts at the cafe then, putting in 80 hours a week, when I came home I was beat. Well, one night when Penelope was 3 weeks old I had worked 16 hours, I came home and went straight to bed. I woke up to your mother shrieking and pushing on me in the middle of the night." By this point my Dad has tears streaming down his face and takes a moment to breathe while Phoenix fetches him a tissue. "I had rolled over in my sleep and suffocated our baby girl, she was devastated for months, she wouldn't speak, wouldn't eat, she hardly even moved if it wasn't necessary for little Phoenix." After a year of mourning she decided she wanted to try again, and we had Pacer. Her distaste was immediate, she had what they called back then the baby blues and had very little to do with him. But she was determined to have that little girl, so a few months later we tried again, and we ended up with the twins. She was so sure they were girls, she snapped out of the depression and was back to the woman I married for 9 glorious months. When Peeta and Phillip were born her baby blues came back even worse than before, but instead of being depressed, she was hateful, she didn't want me around, she fired the nanny I had hired after Pacer and encouraged me to work longer so she wouldn't have to look at me. A month after they were born I came home to find your mother on her knees in front of the bath tub holding Peeta and Phillip under. I wrenched her away and pulled them both up. In the time it took me to resuscitate Peeta, little Phillip died. I just held the boys to me, crying, asking 'what have you done, what have you done'? She simply said 'Now you know what it feels like to have the person you love destroy your dreams."

He keeps talking about how he felt and how she must have felt and all I can think about is the fact that not only did I have a sister I never knew of, but a twin brother. That must be why she was always so hard on me, she resented me for living. It's not until I hear Dad say it's not her fault that I pop out of my own mind and back to the conversation at hand.

"Not her fault? Are you fucking kidding me?! She's a child killer for fuck sake!"

"PEETA! Don't ever talk about your mother like that, it was an accident, she didn't know what she was doing!"

"BULLSHIT! That's a bunch of fucking crap, and I can't believe that you actually believe it! She knew exactly what she was doing! Where there no police here back then? Why wasn't she arrested?!"

"We told them it was an accident, she said if I told them the truth, she would tell them I maliciously suffocated Penelope."

"So she blackmailed you? And still you stick up for her time after time? What kind of person are you?" My anger gets the best of me and I grab the closest item to me, which just happens to be a metal napkin dispenser and hurl it across the room. I expect to hear a satisfying thud so you can imagine my surprise when it's the sound of shattering glass that fills the room. My rage doesn't abate even slightly at the destruction of the glass pastry case. I stand up knocking my chair over in the process and make my way to the door.

"I gotta get the hell out of here before I destroy this place, you can count me out. In fact tell that bitch I said to rot in hell."


	17. Chapter 17

I felt bad for all the angst in the last chapter and the next chapter so I wrote a little nice and happy piece to break it up a little! Hope you enjoy!

I own nothing except the mistakes, those mistakes are all me, sorry! I write half on my pc and half on my tablet and you all know how auto-correct can be!

I always find it strangely comforting when the weather matches my mood, so the downpour that starts as I exit the parking lot of the cafe seems to mellow me out slightly. I consider going to the lake just so I can avoid the questions I'm sure Johanna will fire my way, but I doubt I'd be able to see anything in this rain, so I just drive home slowly. I sit in my car for a good 20 minutes after I pull in the driveway, of all the things I thought tonight would bring, none of this had crossed my mind. I feel lost in my own skin, raised by people I don't know, siblings that never had a chance, and a twin brother. How is that something I never knew? How could my own Father never tell me? Did Phoenix know? Surely he was old enough at the time to differentiate between 1 new baby and 2, wasn't he? I don't even know who I am anymore. What happened to the me I was? The person I used to be wasn't violent, now I'm smashing counters, yelling at the woman of my dreams and choking my own mother. Granted I don't feel as bad about that last part as I should, but still, she's still my mother right? A mother that tried to drown me. I saw some fucked up shit in the war, women throwing their babies off a bridge to "give them back to god" men strapping explosives to their sons. I guess I just never expected it to be so close to home. Yeah my mom was a fucked up person, but I don't think I ever considered the fact that she'd go any further than extreme abuse. I suppose there isn't much difference though, between the people who kill children for their gods and the people who kill children for unfulfilled dreams. It's all same in the end, an unfair ending to an all too short life.

When I finally drag myself through the door laughter rings out from the living room, I can't handle a crowd right, I just want to hole myself up in my room as long as I can, my brain hurts, my heart hurts, I just can't take anymore today. So when Finnick meets me in the hallway the heavy sigh I release isn't something I could hold back if I tried.

"Hey man, you've got visitors!"

"Not now Finn, I just want to go lie down."

"Didn't go well huh?"

"Pfft, thats putting it lightly."

"Wanna talk about it?"

"Not really."

"Alright, well you still have visitors, so at least come say hi, then I'll let you off the hook."

"Who the hell would be visiting me, half the people I know are still at the cafe and the other half live here."

He doesn't answer, just gives me 'Finn Grin' and a wink and turns back toward the living room. I curse under my breath and scrub my hands over my face before running them through my hair, shaking out some of the rain. I'm sure I look like hell, but nothing I can't play off on the storm, so I follow him into the living area. I'm surprised to see Katniss, Johanna & Finnick all sitting around watching the little girl whom I assume is Heidi playing with some blocks in the middle of the floor. She's a beautiful little girl, she looks just like Katniss, seeing her for some reason makes my heart feel a little less heavy. I guess it just reminds me that for all the terrible parents that exist, there are just as many willing to do anything for their kids. When Katniss takes notice of me she jumps up with a small smile and goes to Heidis' side.

"Hey baby girl, I want you to come meet a friend of mine okay?" The little girl nods then knocks over the tower she'd been building with a gleeful little squeal before standing and taking her Moms hand.

"Heidi, this is Mommys' friend Peeta. Can you say hi to Peeta?" She coaxes the child as the walk to stand before me, I give her my best smile and she matches it right away. She's a happy little one.

"Hi Pee-ya!"

"Hello Heidi, it's nice to meet you, I liked your tower."

"Bwocks!" She says as she takes my hand, making a little chain between her Mother and me.

"We're still working on a few letters, but she's picking up very fast. Arent' you smart girl!" Heidi uses our arms to swing herself to and fro, and I can't help but wonder if Katniss was this joyous and playful as a toddler.

"Peeya bwocks!" She tells me dropping her Mothers hand and pulling me to her pile of wooden blocks, I promptly sit across from her and start stacking blocks, as soon as the reach her height at sitting she knocks them over and laughs like it's the funniest thing she's ever seen. Her laugh is simple and wonderful and delightful, I almost forget why I was in such a shitty mood to begin with.

"Do you like to color?"

"COYOR!"

"Wait right here I'l go get some colors ok?" She nods very seriously and she looks even more like Katniss, I fetch a clean sketch pad and some colored pencils and return to her as quick as I can.

"Oh Peeta, I'm not sure that's a good idea, she still puts things in her mouth."

"They're non-toxic it's alright."

"Well, I don't want her to ruin your pencils."

"Consider me warned, I won't hold you responsible Everdeen." I grin at her and she grins at me, it seems to easy for this week from hell, but I'll take it.

"Well, it's your pencils' funeral."

"We'll be alright, won't we cupcake?"

"CUCAKE! CUCAKE!"

"Do you want to draw a cupcake?" So we spend the next 30 minutes drawing everything her little mind can come up with, cupcakes, cats, dogs, elly (who happens to be her stuffed elephant Katniss tells me) by the time we finish elly she's crawled into my lap and is 'helping', my very large hand covering her tiny one guiding her strokes. She squeals with laughter as we finish each thing she asks for, including her blocks, because we definitely can't forget her blocks. To every ones surprise she never puts a single pencil in her mouth, she's thoroughly engrossed in watching her requests come to life.

"Coyor Heiyi!"

"Color Heidi? We can do that." When I finish that one she jumps up pad in hand and runs to her Mom.

"Yook, Yook! Heiyi!"

"I see that! What a beautiful little girl I have, I'm the luckiest Mommy ever!" She runs back to my lap and returns the pad pointing to the empty space next to it.

"Mommy. Mommy an Heiyi! Mommy yoves Heiyi!"

"You want Mommy next to Heidi?" She nods vigorously and I set to work on a face I've drawn so many times I could almost do it in my sleep. Finnick, Johanna and Katniss fill the room with conversation that I don't really follow and I must loose track of time because Heidi seems to get slightly heavier by the moment until her little head falls right into the crook of my elbow.

"Well, looks like she's down for the count. You're not half bad with kids Peet, maybe you ought to open a daycare center. Let me grab an umbrella and I'll help you walk these ladies home." Finnick tells me as I adjust Heidi to a cradled position.

"You don't have to do that Finn, I can carry an umbrella for them, or I can carry Heidi and Peeta can carry the umbrella."

"Kat if you want some alone time with our fair haired friend just say so. Honestly you two making out in front of me won't bother me!"

"Shut up Finn. Just get the umbrella for Katniss, I've already got Heidi, I'm sure we can handle it."

"You sure Peet?" It takes me a minute to realize what he means before it dawns on me he's concerned about me standing with my un-leg and my hands full. I know he's just trying to look out for me but I still flush in embarrassment that he thinks I can't manage a 20 lbs toddler.

"Yeah Finn, I got it." I stand without incident as Finnick fetches the umbrella, the sound of the rain has lessened but it's still a steady rain. I walk across the street, bundled baby in my arms feeling better than I have since everything went to shit. Katniss leads me to Heidis' crib that is situated at the foot of her bed. As I lay the little girl down Katniss nervously darts around her room picking up stray clothing and tossing them in the hamper in the corner of the room.

"Sorry, I wasn't really expecting anyone in here."

"No problem, I've seen worse. I've lived with men pretty much my whole life, their messes make this look like nothing."

"Ha, yeah I suppose so. So now you've met my little Heidi. She really seemed to like you."

"I like her too, she's adorable, you're a lucky woman Katniss." That beautiful flush decorates her face and I want to follow it with my lips.

"Yeah, I think so too, she's my everything. I'm not sure what I'd do without her. I'm sorry for not telling you Peeta. I really wasn't trying to hide it though, I guess I was just waiting for the right time, but the longer I waited, the more it just got...I don't know...weird I guess."

"It's alright, if I had something that precious I'd probably want to hide her away from the world and keep her to myself too. Thank you though, for finally introducing me, it was fun, easily the highlight of my week."

"Well, I'm glad you had fun, she really seemed to like you. I'm not sure where she got the whole 'people person' thing, I suppose it's a submissive gene, it skipped me went straight to Prim and Heidi."

"So does this mean we're good?"

"Yeah, we're good. I'm still not very happy about the Glimmer thing, but in light of the the Finnick revelation I decided I owed you the benefit of the doubt. For future reference though, I'm apparently a jealous woman, I'm not sure what to do about it, sort of a new development."

"I can handle it. I'll just have to make myself more clear to future Glimmers. So... can I kiss you goodnight?"

"Yeah, but not in here, I think that would be kinda weird, let me walk you out." So she does and when I turn to her in the hallway she instantly melds her lips to mine in a sensual kiss, asserting her possessiveness with her tongue before pulling away with a fierce blush and wishing me goodnight.

The next morning I get up early and make doughnuts. I put pink frosting and sprinkles on a few to drop of for Heidi and cinnamon sugar on the rest. I dress for my jog, graving the drawing of Katniss and Heidi before plating a few doughnuts for Annie and Katniss along with the pink ones for Heidi and heading out. Katniss and Annie sit on the porch wrapped in throw blankets due to the cold front that rolled in with rain.

"Morning beautiful ladies, care for a doughnut this morning?"

"Peeta Mellark you are going to end up rotting my baby girls teeth by the time she's 5 if I keep you around."

"What? Every kid needs a sprinkled doughnut every now and again."

"Yes, but I don't think she needs 5."

"Well, I couldn't just make 1. Here she fell asleep before I finished this so I thought I'd drop it off for her." She studies the drawing for a moment before looking at me with an unreadable expression.

"Peeta, this-this is, I don't even know what to say, it's amazing."

"Thanks. You think she'll like it?"

"She'll love it. Is this how you see me?"

"What do you mean, that's how everyone sees you." Annie excuses herself to take the doughnuts inside before Katniss responds.

"I'm not that pretty."

"You're delusional, I can't draw things that aren't there Katniss. You're beautiful, you just don't see yourself right."

"I think you may need glasses."

"And I think you should shit up and learn to take a compliment."

"Well, I think you should come over for dinner tonight."

"Maybe we should just stop thinking so much and enjoy the aforementioned dinner."

"Sounds like a plan, get to running Mellark, I'm freezing to death and craving doughnuts."

"Yes ma'am!"

I jog a quarter mile further today, trying to let the cool air clear my thoughts. Despite the good ending to last night, and a great start this morning my thoughts still weigh heavily on my shoulders. How much different would my life have been had my sister not come to such a tragic demise? Maybe I'd have never been born at all. And the guilt I feel for poor Phillips' murder is ever mounting. It was just chance Dad picked me up first, but I still feel at fault. I wonder if we were identical, if he would have been like me, made my same choices, I wonder if would feel as lost in his own skin as I do alot of the time.

Arriving home I full a glass with water and down about half of it before my phone rings Pacers ringtone, I'd had a missed call from Phoenix last night I wasn't up to returning, but I think I can handle Pacer.

"Hey brother."

"Hey Peeta, sorry I didn't call last night, I just uh, well you know it was alot to take in, I just needed awhile to process it I guess. So how are you dealing?"

"I'm uh, well, I don't know really. I mean I'm alright, it's just alot to process, I'm not even sure where to start."

"Me neither, I was I'm thinking about maybe making an appointment to talk to someone."

"That's probably a good idea. For all of us."

"Man, I really hope Phoenix doesn't do anything fucking stupid."

"Me too, last thing she deserves is him risking his life for her, she's even worse than we thought she was."

"Yeah, she is."

"So uh are you still spending Thanksgiving there."

"Fuck no! I'm tired of spending my holidays miserable, I think maybe I'll just Ihop-it until she does."

"You could come here, with Finnick, Johanna and me. Start a new tradition."

"Yeah? You done think your roommates would mind? Having an extra Mellark around during family time?"

"Nah, their families won't be here, just the there of us in our dysfunctional family we've made. Plus Johanna wants to formally meet you."

"Have I informally met her?"

"Yeah she have me the lap dance at my welcome home party."

"Nice, she was hot! Why aren't you enjoying her company?"

"I'm enjoying the company of another lady."

"Nice, do I know her?"

"Yes, it's Katniss Everdeen."

"Shit Peeta, your holding out on me! You finally wore her down did ya? Is it as good as all those dreams?"

"What the hell are you talking about, I never said anything about my dreams."

"We shared a room most our lives! 'oh Katniss, mmm feels so good' I know all your little pervy Katniss fantasies!"

"I'm hanging up now."

"See you Thanksgiving Mr. Everdeen!"

"I won't hesitate to tell Johanna you have herpes."

"Alright, alright, see ya later Peeta."

"Later."


End file.
